The healing process
by KlikStar
Summary: They had helped him to remember in the most intimate way possible and it should have been the start of things going back to normal, but it wasn't. Cloud opens up to a stranger when the lovers he knew pull away. Rated M-Yaoi WARNING! Part of the 4WS saga
1. Chapter 1

**As I said during my introduction of the story 'Amnesia' I want to develop this saga a little more to involve the characters lives and backgrounds. As a result this story once again has more emotion in it than physical affection. **

**This story carries on from a short time after Cloud's accident and focuses on how he and the others are dealing with his recovery. It felt wrong to have him heal perfectly and there be no problems and so I have written and rewritten this instalment more times than I care to admit. The end result is a little long and also involves an appearance from Genesis, who I have referred to as a General. I'm not sure if this is correct, as I can't find a reference to his rank on the crisis core resources I have available, but a few other stories I have read give him the title so I can only hope that it is acceptable.**

**Hopefully it is still as enjoyable as the other instalments and I will try to make the next one a little shorter and bring some more 'naughtiness' back into their lives.**

**Rated M - Because there is Yaoi and I still own nothing but the ideas.**

**Please remember to review. I like to hear what you think about how this saga is going.**

**(Also just for reference, if it isn't already obvious, 4WS = Four Way Split) **

* * *

**The healing process – Part 1**

Zack smiled as he made his way towards the soldier apartments, his stride having a small skip, as each step took him closer to home.

"You appear to be in a good mood." Sephiroth noted happily, as they turned a corner and the apartment block came into view.

"And why wouldn't I be?" The soldier asked cheerfully, continuing without waiting for an answer. "Today was good, all my work is done and Cloud is waiting for us at home."

"I see." The general replied, his own smile growing a little brighter in understanding.

Zack glanced across at the man beside him and laughed warmly as he took in Sephiroth's appearance, noting the way he also appeared to be moving with a certain joyful bounce.

"He's doing really well in classes." Zack said happily, his eyes sparkling at the knowledge.

"Do not forget it has only been a few of weeks Zack."

"Yea, I know, but he's remembered most of it now and things are going back to normal."

"Then the doctor is happy with his progress?" The general enquired casually.

"Like you don't already know," Zack teased, fully aware of Sephiroth's silent tracking of Cloud's recovery.

The general sighed in mock exasperation at the soldier's playful comment, but smiled softly to show he was indeed aware of the report.

"Cloud will be pleased to know that the doctor has cleared him to return to full duties." He informed Zack, knowing that this fact had not been released to either soldier or cadet yet.

"Really, that's great." Zack all but cheered, as they entered the building.

"Yes, I believe he will be happy about it as well." Sephiroth commented as neutrally as possible and then laughed softly at the look he received.

"You know I meant for him," the soldier pointed out shaking his head. "He's been waiting to get back to a normal schedule for the past couple of weeks, ever since I stopped going to classes with him."

"How has it been?"

"Pretty good. I checked a couple of times and he seems to be doing ok. Some of the other cadet's are taking care of him so I tried to keep out of the way."

Sephiroth could hear the change of tone in Zack's voice and when he looked over at the soldier saw the tension across his shoulders.

"Why does this upset you?" He enquired curiously as they entered the lift.

"I know it shouldn't," the soldier admitted hesitantly. "I guess it's just that after all the trouble he had with them, I'm still nervous about the sudden change."

"Surely having more friends will benefit him?"

"Yea, it will," Zack agreed uncertainly.

"You are worried about their intentions," Sephiroth noted gently.

"Yea, in a way, I guess I am. You don't know what it was like for him in the beginning Seph, it was pretty rough."

"Then let us hope that this is the start of something new." Sephiroth said gently, as the lift doors slid open at their floor.

"Hey, there you are. I've been waiting here for like half an hour." Reno called, making both men look up in surprise.

"Why aren't you inside?" Zack asked a little confused, as the Turk rose to his feet from where he had been sitting on the floor.

"Forgot my key card," the red head admitted with a shrug.

"You could have knocked, Spiky would have let you in."

"I did knock." Reno replied, his eyes widening slightly at Zack's words.

It took all three men a second to absorb the information and then a slight panic took hold, the unspoken fears of what might have happened to their precious blonde filling their minds.

"Open the door." Sephiroth ordered, his voice tainted with worry as Zack fumbled desperately to get the key card out of his pocket.

"I'm doing it," the soldier growled back, his own voice filled with restrained fear.

The lock had barely beeped to allow them access, before the soldier had the door open and all three entered the apartment in a rush. Zack was in the lead and slid to a stop in the living room, the others almost colliding with him as they stopped dead in their tracks. A collective sigh of relief filled the air as each man let out the breath they had been holding, their fears disappearing along with the air from their bodies. The soldier smiled as he took in the sight and glanced over at the other two men behind him, who also seemed to be wearing similar masks of relief and amusement, now that they knew what had happened to their blonde.

There sitting at the dining table and stretched out over a small pile of textbooks, was the peaceful form of a cadet lost to a deep sleep. Cloud's left arm was stretched out across the table acting as a pillow for his head and Zack couldn't help but laugh softly when he saw the blonde's other hand. A pen still held tightly in his fingers, poised over the pad he was making notes on, as if he had fallen asleep while halfway through writing something. It was only when his eyes drifted to Cloud's pale face that the smile faded a little, the dark smudges around the cadet's eyes showing that he was exhausted.

"It appears he has been working too hard again." Sephiroth whispered, so as not to disturb Cloud's peaceful slumber.

"Yea, you're right." Zack replied also keeping his voice low. "I knew he was working to catch up, I just didn't realise how much he's been pushing himself."

"We should probably wake him, or at least move him to somewhere more comfortable." Reno suggested quietly.

Zack moved silently across the room until he was standing beside the table, his mind already trying to work out how he was going to pick Cloud up without waking him. He carefully removed the pen from the cadet's hand and laid it on the table before turning his attention back to the problem. Before he could move again Cloud stirred, his body shifting slightly on the table and a small groan escaping his lips. Zack froze on the spot, his heart beating frantically at the small sound of pain which Cloud had produced and the troubled frown which had now appeared on his brow.

"That doesn't look good." Reno commented with concern as Cloud shifted again, his body tensing in response to something in his dream.

Zack took a steadying breath as he lowered himself to crouch beside the cadet, at the same time carefully raising a hand to trace his fingers over the blonde's brow. The gently caresses across Cloud's delicate features seemed to ease whatever troubles the cadet was feeling and he physically relaxed into the touch.

"I wonder what he is dreaming about." Sephiroth mused, as he studied the blonde's changing expression.

"I'm wondering the same thing." Zack informed them evenly, his mind already considering the many different options.

"Don't go." Cloud breathed, catching them all by surprise.

"Go where?" Zack asked, before he realised that the cadet was still asleep.

"The mountains, don't go." Cloud replied, his body shifting and becoming tense once more.

"Who is going up the mountain Cloud?" Sephiroth asked calmly, as he moved forward to kneel beside Zack.

"Tifa, she's going, but it's too dangerous." The cadet replied, his face now screwing up as the worry in his voice found another way to express itself.

"Tifa?" Reno asked in confusion.

"Yea, he's mentioned her name a few times now." Zack informed them, watching as Cloud continued to struggle with something they couldn't see.

"He has talked about his home?" Sephiroth enquired curiously.

"No. I've only heard it mentioned when he's sleeping like this."

"And you didn't tell us!" Reno snapped, his sudden anger making him forget to keep his voice down.

Cloud's head snapped up instantly, his eye lids flicking open to reveal confused blue spheres that darted about in a dazed panic.

"Nice one red." Zack growled softly, giving Reno the glare he deserved.

"Sorry." The Turk replied, clearly frustrated by what had happened.

"Who? What? Where?" Cloud mumbled, as he continued to shake the sleep from his mind.

"Take it easy Spiky, it's just us." Zack reassured gently.

Zack couldn't help but smile as Cloud's face came round to focus on his own, as the blonde attempted to rube the sleep from his eyes with the back of his hand. The actions were nothing special yet made the soldier's heart fill with warmth, the simple movements making the cadet appear younger and somehow cuter in his sleepy state.

"What time is it?" Cloud asked, the words closely followed by a yawn which he tried to hide.

"Around seven, we got held up at the office."

"Oh." The cadet responded, as he stretched to relieve some of the knots which had developed in his body.

"You have slept in an uncomfortable position." Sephiroth noted casually.

"Yea, I guess it wasn't the best place." The blonde agreed with a small smile.

"You should have just chilled out on the sofa or on the bed."

"I wanted to get this done first." Cloud said, indicating the small pile of work and the textbooks on the table.

"Well I think you're done for the day." Zack responded quickly, already gathering the items up and moving them away before Cloud could continue.

"Zack, I need to do that." The cadet protested weakly, knowing it was futile to argue but still trying.

"What you need is a hot shower, something to eat and then to get your butt into bed." The soldier replied firmly, his eyes meeting with the blonde's to show he was serious.

"Fine." Cloud sighed in defeat, letting his body sprawl across the table once more.

"You can't shower like that." Zack pointed out as he began to make his way back over towards the cadet.

"Then how do you suggest I do it?" Cloud asked, his voice remaining casual but holding a hint of something else.

"Well for a start you need to get your cute little behind off that chair and into the bathroom." The soldier joked, ignoring the blonde's subtle tone.

"Then?" The cadet asked innocently, his eyes sparking with unspoken desire, as he tilted his body to see Zack better.

"Then you turn on the water and wash." Was the blunt reply, as Zack turned away.

Cloud blinked in confusion as the soldier walked past him and towards the kitchen, the words spoken not being ones he had expected. The cadet blushed furiously as the bewilderment turned into embarrassment. Before anyone could speak he was up and moving towards the bathroom, the door closing quickly behind him.

"What the hell was that?" Reno spat out, turning on the soldier as soon as the sound of water running could be heard.

"I don't know what you mean?" Zack replied trying to sound neutral and failing miserably.

"He just made you an offer and you threw it back in his face, that's what I mean." The Turk all but shouted now.

"It wasn't like that," the soldier protested weakly.

"Yes it was." Sephiroth interrupted before Reno could respond.

"I guess I missed it." Zack said, turning away to look in a cupboard behind him.

"You missed it?" The Turk choked in disbelief.

"You seem to be missing a lot lately." Sephiroth noted bluntly.

"I don't know what you mean?" Was the guarded reply.

"You have been avoiding things which he seems keen to reacquaint himself with." The general noted evenly.

"What?" Zack replied, actually a little confused this time.

"He's saying that Cloud wants to get physical and you're avoiding it." Reno stated, clearing up any misunderstanding instantly.

"I don't .." Zack began, his voice now rising defensively before Sephiroth cut it off.

"Enough!" He growled at both men. "In the bedroom now, I will not have Cloud walking out to find us arguing here."

The soldier and Turk glared at each other but did as they were instructed, moving towards the bedroom closely followed by the general who pushed the door closed behind him.

Inside the bathroom Cloud stood shaking slightly, his hand hovering over the door handle and his forehead resting against the hard surface in front of him. He had managed to get the shower going before realising there wasn't a towel in the room and groaned softly in frustration. While the idea of facing them all again was not pleasant, the cadet decided it was just easier to get it now then have to worry about it after he was soaking wet. Unfortunately Cloud had barely turned to open the door when he had heard Reno voice, the words deadened by the thick door but the tone clearly angry. Instinct had kicked in then, something from years of learning to be cautious, and he had stopped in his tracks. Other voices had quickly followed the Turk's and although he could not hear the words, Cloud could easily identify the emotions each voice held. Reno's was repressed anger, Zack's defensive frustration and then Sephiroth's calm but deathly stern annoyance.

The tightness in Cloud's chest was instantaneous, his breath hitching slightly as he realised they were fighting again. His hand slowly lowered onto the door handle as he heard them move into the bedroom, the place where they thought it was safe to argue with each other and he wouldn't hear. The cadet almost laughed at the idea, but it came out more of a choked sob as he found his body turning towards the wall beside him. They were treating him just like a child again, hiding their own fears and worries behind masks which occasionally slipped, trying to shield him from their fights about his situation. Just like a child he wasn't stupid and knew about these arguments, knew that they were becoming more frequent. The first one Cloud had witnessed had happened just over two weeks ago and had been nothing more than a bickering between Zack and Reno which hadn't seemed right. In truth he wouldn't have paid much attention to it, but Sephiroth had made a comment which made the cadet realise this wasn't the first time it had happened. After that he noticed it more and more, the tension rising and falling depending on their moods, their day at work and how Cloud himself was doing.

"Don't do it, you don't want to know." Cloud whispered to himself, willing his mind to block it out.

But just like a child he needed to know, drawn like a moth to a flame about to be burnt, needing to hear what they were saying about him. His body moved of its own accord flattening itself against the wall, his ear pressing firmly over the hard surface so that he could listen better. Cloud mentally sighed at their naivety for thinking hiding in the bedroom would make it better, if anything it made it worse. While the apartments themselves were divided by solid walls which kept sounds in or out, the walls within the structure were not that thick. With the bedroom being adjacent to the bathroom, the cadet could now here more than if the men had simply stayed in the living room. The words were still a little muffled, but now odd phrases or parts of sentences could be heard as the occupants of the room moved around.

The first tear ran down Cloud's cheek, the warm droplet making its silent escape to freedom. This wasn't what he wanted, this wasn't the relationship he remembered, these weren't the men he loved. The cadet's heart began to ache as he thought back to that first night when he had remembered them, knowing that it should have been the start of things returning back to normal. Instead it had become the start of something else, with all of them pulling away, their fear of rushing him making the relationship awkward. There had been no more intimate touches or caresses since then, only brief hugs or occasional chaste kiss to his head or cheek. Their physical feelings for him being withheld and only revealed through caring words and faint reassurances of affection. At first Cloud had accepted this, needing time himself to get used to being in their company again, but now it was only causing him pain. Their need to give him space turning into a feeling of distance between them and making him feel like the small insignificant cadet once more.

Tears became mixed with anger and the cadet forcefully pushed away from the wall, no longer wanting to hear them blaming each other for what was happening. Using the building rage within him Cloud opened the door and walked through the apartment, his pace never slowing or faltering as he passed the closed bedroom door. A second later and he was picking up his boots and leaving, the door closing almost soundlessly behind him, as he walked away from the lovers he no longer knew.

Sephiroth was the first to notice that something was wrong, his instincts kicking in at last and drawing him away from the verbal battle. He turned his attention towards the closed door and listened intently, trying to work out what had distracted him.

"Seph?" Zack asked, a little confused by the general's sudden silence and eerily still poise.

"Something is wrong." Sephiroth responded bluntly, as he began to move.

A second later and all three men were standing in the living room trying to identify what suddenly had them all feeling uneasy. The room was warm and slightly damp, the steam from the shower having escaped through the partially open bathroom door way.

"What the hell?" Reno questioned as he walked towards the room, where small billows of mist were becoming visible as they drifted into the larger room.

"Hey Spiky, you got it pretty hot in there, you ok?" Zack called pausing outside, his heart lurching when they got no reply.

Sephiroth was already opening the door before Zack could warn the cadet about their entry. He needn't have worried as the room was now empty, except for the white fog left as the only evidence of the cadet's presence in the room.

"Where is he?" Reno asked as the general moved to turn the water off.

"The spare bedroom." Zack suggested, already turning to check.

"He is not here." Sephiroth stated, his voice calm but the hint of worry within it being undeniable.

"What? How? No!" Zack spluttered, before rushing from the room.

"Zack man, Sephiroth's right, he's not here," Reno called, his voice catching up with the soldier as he emerged from the empty spare bedroom.

"Why did he ... I mean, he was showering so ...why..." Zack began, his voice breaking with emotion as he realised what had happened. "Oh Gaia, he heard us."

"How can you be sure?" Sephiroth enquired carefully.

"He heard us arguing and ran," the solder explained almost fearfully.

"If he heard us, why would he run? Why not just confront us about it?" Reno asked, now confused and also worried about the soldier's state.

"You guy's still don't get it." Zack replied through gritted teeth. "He's not like the Cloud you remember, he's more like the cadet I found and took under my wing at the start."

"He is more than that Zackary."

"No, he isn't. He's back to being unsure and nervous and ..."

"If he is then it's your damn over protectiveness that's put him there," Reno cut in.

"I'm trying to keep him safe," the soldier snapped back.

"From what, us?!" The Turk retorted angrily.

"Enough!" Sephiroth shouted, this time not holding back the tone or level of his voice.

"The fact still remains that Cloud is not here and he is clearly upset." He paused to glare at each man daring them to argue with him, but when silence reigned he continued evenly. "Zack I know you care deeply for Cloud, but you have been hindering him since he started to remember. He has indicated numerous times that he wishes to ... explore our physical relationship, yet each time you shut it down instantly."

"I ... I didn't realise ..." Zack began, his voice trembling as the truth of the general's words began to finally sink in.

"And you." Sephiroth said, turning on Reno. "Would it kill you to explain these things more tactfully?"

"I'm ... sorry." The Turk sighed, his shoulders sagging under the weight of his own conscience.

"Yea, I'm sorry too." Zack apologised after a minute, his body slumping down into the nearest sofa. "You guys were ... are right. I just didn't want to see him get hurt and that's what I've been doing all along."

"Even the best of intentions do not always prove fruitful."

"Huh?" Reno and Zack in unison.

"You are both doing what you think is best for Cloud, but in the end it has not helped him at all." The general explained patiently, as he lent against the wall.

"So what do we do now?" Reno asked.

"We leave him to cool off and then go find him." Zack informed them, his voice now weary.

"Why wait?"

"Because he's gonna be mad, hurt or both and that means he needs time to work it out of his system," the soldier explained. A quick glance at the other two revealed their confused expressions and he sighed heavily before continuing. "Like I said, you don't really remember the old Cloud before ... Anyway he had it pretty rough and he didn't have anyone to really talk, although I doubt he would have confided in them anyway, so he used to ..."

"Hang on," Reno cut in sharply. "I thought he had you to talk to, right?"

"It took me months to get him to open up Reno, and I mean months. He didn't trust anyone, especially if they were being nice to him."

"Why?"

"Gaia knows" Zack sighed heavily, rubbing his temples as a dull ache began in his head.

"Perhaps we should just let Zack explain." Sephiroth offered gently.

"Thanks." The soldier replied, with a small smile. "You guys got to know him after he had relaxed around me and we were ... well we were more than friends. The fact he took to Reno so well was pretty amazing, I guess it helped that he had a thing for you already." The soldier stopped to chuckle slightly as the Turk's face lit up.

"Really?" Reno asked cheerfully. "You guys never said ... Oh yea, sorry. Talk about it later." He mumbled as Sephiroth gave him a small glare.

"There's not much else I can tell you, that you don't already know now. I can tell you about my experiences of the hell he went through here but when it comes to Cloud's past I have about as much knowledge as you guys do, it's just something he avoids talking about."

"But it is clearly affecting him," the general noted evenly.

"Yea." The soldier agreed sadly. "He's not just tired because of the work and training, he's not sleeping right either."

"Explain?" Sephiroth ordered instantly, than winched at his own mistake before correcting it. "Please explain."

"He's having bad dreams, nightmares if you like. They disturb his sleep or keep him up completely."

"What are they about?"

"I'm not sure. Most of the time he's just tossing and turning until he wakes up in a panicked state. Sometimes he's calling out, but I don't have enough information to make sense of it."

"Let me guess, he never wants to talk about it," Reno noted in frustration.

"You got it," Zack confirmed for him. "It's why I haven't let him move back to the cadet dorms completely yet and why I've been so ... over protective."

"You should have told us," Sephiroth informed him coldly.

"I know, but Spiky didn't want a fuss being made and I was ... I was scared he was gonna shut me out if I told you guys."

"Uuuurrrrgggghhh" Reno groaned as he finally let his body collapse onto the sofa and ground the palms of his hands into his face. "This really suck's," he grumbled before looking up.

"I'm sorry." Zack whispered, his head bowed down and unable to look at them.

"We are all sorry for what has happened. You did what you thought was best and I understand your worry, but we cannot have secrets between us."

"I know, I hated keeping it from you but Cloud ..."

"Cloud hides too much."

"Kid needs to talk," Reno agreed, nodding slowly.

"We will give him an hour and then go and look for him." Sephiroth proposed calmly, relieved when the other two silently agreed.

They used the time wisely with Zack explaining more about Cloud's past as a cadet, the soldier trying to answer their numerous questions as honestly as possible. Both the general and Turk were saddened to know how much the blonde had suffered in the beginning and also expressed their annoyance at Cloud's stubborn nature for keeping it all to himself.

When the hour had finally passed they made their way out of the apartment, each very much aware of the lateness and the dark night which had settled outside.

"Where would he go?" Reno asked looking at the soldier questioningly.

"I guess the weight's room or gym if it's like this outside." Zack suggested, noting the wet weather and knowing that Cloud liked to work out when he needed to forget about everything else.

But the cadet was not in the weights room when they arrived, nor was he in the gym, study hall or library when they checked. By now they were all beginning to worry and decided to split up to cover more ground, however it would be several hours before they discovered the whereabouts of their missing blonde.

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Cloud was running, his body moving along the familiar track on auto pilot. At some point it had grown dark and begun to rain, the cold water falling as a light drizzle which would have been nothing if he had only been in it a short time. Instead he had ignored the changes taking place around him, allowing himself to escape into the repetitive task for hours. As a result his clothes now hung on him like wet rags, the combination of his own body sweat and the weather making the material sodden and cling to his lithe frame. His hair was also plastered to his head and face, the normally bouncy spikes flattened against his pale skin, the effect making him look even more drained. Cloud drew in a deep breath as his body began to falter again, as the burning in his legs re-announced itself. He didn't know how long he had been running and in truth he didn't care, simply happy that his mind was void of thought as he followed the path ahead of him.

It had been a while since he had needed to do this, since he had been driven to just run to clear his mind and forget. Zack had come into his life and made that part of his existence unnecessary, not by listening to his problems and sorting them out but by just being there. Cloud choked as he realised his mistake, that he had let his mind slip to the soldier again. He didn't want to think about them, about any of it, that was why he was here. A burst of anger had his weary body moving faster along the course, his aching legs barely functioning as they moved to carry his weight, once more forcing himself to ignore his thoughts. The track curved round and Cloud followed the bend easily without thinking, the path being travelled now as natural to him as breathing.

A few minutes later however and breathing was not coming naturally for the cadet anymore. He had been tired to start with and now his body was screaming at him to stop, begging that the punishment be ended before it was too late. Cloud stumbled and fell, his knees hitting the floor hard and causing him to bite back a small cry of pain. His body slumped forward as dizziness swam through his head, a wave of numbness washing against his mind threatening to consume him. But just like the tides of an ocean it receded and the cadet rose to his feet once again, pushing against the ground with fierce determination. He didn't want to stop, knew that if he did it would let his thoughts wander to places he didn't want to go. Cloud moved with a purpose, his mind wanting to escape, his body warning him that if he didn't chose to stop soon it would do it for him. The cadet smiled faintly as the world began to lose focus again and his legs began to give way beneath him. He didn't feel the floor as it rose to meet him, nor did he experience the bruising of the impact, his last thoughts being a reassurance of sorts. At least this way he wouldn't have to think about anything.

xxxxxxxxxxxx

Genesis couldn't believe that his first day back at the base in months had ended like this. He had planned on settling back into his apartment, giving a brief update and then going out and getting drunk. Instead he was kept forever in a pointless meeting, made to fill in countless reports and then been assigned to cover a duty shift. To top it all of it was about to rain again and he hated the rain, it always ruined his mood not to mention his hair. He grumbled then, muttering a few colourful curses about the soldiers who had been unable to make their patrol of this section and hoped that whatever ailment had affected them was truly painful. It was only as he was quickly passing the track, on his way back towards his apartment, that he spotted the flash of gold across the field and stopped. His enhanced vision quickly focused on the spot where he had seen the flicker of light trying to find it again. A gentle breeze stirred the bushes across the field and the golden light shone once more before disappearing from view. Curiosity was a weakness for the soldier and he very quickly found himself standing beside the bushes and looking down at the unconscious form of a young man. He guessed from the blonde's half uniform attire that he was a cadet, but as the shirt with rank and name were missing he had no idea who the boy could be.

"You're out a little late after curfew." He informed the unconscious cadet, before bending down and picking him up with ease.

Glancing down at the sodden and clearly exhausted body in his arms Genesis found himself debating over what would be the best course of action. The boy had obviously not planned on being out here this late or he would have dressed in more than a t-shirt and his uniform trousers and boots. Plus there was the fact that no sane person would want to be out here training in this weather unless they were trying to avoid something or someone else. In reality he should have taken the blonde to the infirmary and left him there to be cared for by the staff. But something about the vulnerability shown on the delicate face made him hesitate. Even unconscious it was clear that the blonde was suffering, his strained angelic features making him appear both young and exposed. If the cadet was taken to the infirmary it would make him more comfortable, but his curfew violation would be noted and it would only add to whatever troubles he already had. Genesis sighed as the decision was made for him, as the skies finally opened and the down pour of rain he had been hoping to avoid fell. His apartment was closer now and neither of them would benefit from remaining in their current state. Adjusting his hold on the cadet, so that it was more comfortable for both of them, the soldier began to move through the compound quickly, his original destination now in sight.

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"Did you find him?" Zack asked, his phone barely open against his ear as he answered it.

"No." Reno replied simply, his own hopes dashed with the soldier's question.

"Damn it Reno, where is he?"

"I don't know. I've looked everywhere man."

"What about Seph, have you heard from him?"

"I have not found him either." A cool voice spoke behind Zack, making the soldier cry out and spin round in surprise.

"Thanks, I didn't really need that ear anyway." The Turk complained from the other end of the phone.

"Don't do that," Zack gasped.

Sephiroth looked at the soldier in front of him, noting the way Zack now held a hand to his chest covering a frantically beating heart, and felt a twinge of worry for the raven haired man's health. It was obvious that Zack was distracted by their unsuccessful search, especially as it was interfering with his basic defensive instincts. The general knew he could be like a ghost if he chose to move without being heard, so he had been deliberately noisy as a warning for the soldier. Yet Zack had been so consumed by worry he had not heard a thing beyond his conversation with Reno.

"Hey talk to me!" Reno's voice cut in, before either could comment again.

"Sorry." Zack mumbled, bringing the phone back up to his ear.

"So?"The Turk asked a little frustrated.

"Seph's here and he's alone." The soldier replied flatly, there wasn't really any way to sugar coat the fact.

"Shit." Reno voiced, as a loud bang followed his comment.

"You ok?" Zack asked carefully, already sure he knew that Reno was fine and that something nearby the Turk was now in pieces.

"Yea, but they're gonna need a new door for this supply closet," he replied wearily, confirming Zack's suspicions.

"Where are you?"

"Just down from Sephiroth's office. I know, it was a stupid idea but I needed to check."

"No, it was a good idea, he could have gone there." Zack reassured, noting that Sephiroth was also nodding in agreement. "Seph agrees as well." He added, hoping to cheer the Turk up.

"You got this thing on speaker or is he listening in?"

"Listening in."

"Man, so cool, creepy, but cool."

"Yea, I get that." Zack agreed smiling faintly.

"So what now?" Reno asked, knowing that both would hear him.

"We should head back to Zack's apartment and see if he has returned." Sephiroth suggested.

"What about the cadet dorms, we could ..."

"No!" The general cut in firmly, making Zack fall silent and look up at him through narrowed eyes.

"Why?"

"It is already past curfew. If he has returned there then he is fine, but if he has not and we reveal him to be missing..."

Zack's body physically slumped back against the nearest wall and he slid to the floor, a hand coming up to hold his aching head before Sephiroth had even finished.

"I get it," he mumbled, before sighing heavily.

Just then the general's phone rang catching them both by surprise. Zack watched silently as Sephiroth quickly removed the device from his pocket and checked the display before answering it, stopping when he saw the name being displayed was that of a person he was trying to avoid. Sighing heavily he flipped the phone open and then shut again, effectively cutting off the caller on the other end.

"Who was that?" Zack asked, a little surprised by the generals actions.

"Genesis," was the sighed reply.

"Man, doesn't that guy give up?" The soldier asked shaking his head.

"Who gives up? What? Will one of you guys speak to me?" Reno demanded, starting to feel left out of the loop.

"Sorry. Genesis just called Seph again."

"Ain't he like in Wutai at the moment?"

"No. He got back today." The soldier said, not really caring for details.

"Ok, fine. Look I'm gonna head back to yours, I'll meet you there soon." Reno informed them both and hung up without waiting to hear more.

Zack flipped the phone shut and looked up at the general, who now appeared be just as lost as he felt.

"Come on, Reno's gonna meet us at mine." He informed Sephiroth, although he was pretty sure that part had also been heard like all the rest.

"I can't help but feel I am missing something obvious." Sephiroth commented as they began to walk.

"You're just not used to him doing this." Zack noted sadly.

"And you are?"

"No. I was, for a while, but it stopped happening. He ... he stopped hiding once he started trusting me."

"He is safe then?"

"Probably. I mean he's never done anything stupid before and if he is mad at me then he's most likely back in his dorm room."

"It is not just you he is upset with."

"Same difference." Zack sighed.

A second later and both men were leaving the building and running through the rain, both heading towards warmth and safety from the storm, both hopeful that Cloud would be at home waiting for them.

xxxxxxxxxxxx

Genesis looked down at the phone in his hand and growled at the device. It wasn't like it was the phones fault, but seeing as the general was too busy to actually speak to him it would have to suffer instead. He considered throwing the small lump of metal and plastic down on the table, but stopped himself when his peripheral vision caught sight of the sleeping cadet now wrapped up in a large blanket on his sofa. He looked down at the phone again, once more considering who he could contact about this without getting himself or the boy into trouble. Sephiroth was obviously avoiding him and Angeal was on a mission, so that removed those options. He had even tried contacting Angeal's old student, the young soldier called Zack whom he had come to know. But that had been a dead end as well, the phone constantly in use each time he had tried the number in his contact list.

Sighing heavily the soldier quietly placed the phone on the table and moved over to kneel beside the blonde. He gently pulled the blanket back to expose more of the cadet's face and smiled softly at the tiny furrow in the boys' brow, most likely the result of a bad dream. This was something the grown man could sympathise with, although he would never admit such things to another soul, and he found himself wondering what could trouble someone so young.

"What are you dreaming about little one?" He whispered, running a hand over the pale skin of the cadet's forehead.

Almost instantly eye lids flew open and the bluest eyes in all of Gaia were blinking up at him in panic, the soft pink lips of the young blonde moving frantically even though a sound had yet to be heard escaping them.

"Do not fear me little one." He spoke calmly, moving back slowly to show he meant no harm. "You were hurt so I brought you here to be looked after."

"Where?" The cadet finally managed to ask.

Genesis smiled as he noted the young man quickly recovering from the shock, the boy puling himself together and trying to appear confident while still looking around nervously. He couldn't help but look in those eyes again and noted that there was something almost painful and haunted hidden within the depths of the glistening jewels. Almost as quickly as he had seen it the look was gone and the blue spheres continued to shine brightly, now showing the cadet's caution and weariness.

"My name is Genesis and this is my home," he informed the cadet kindly.

"Your home?"

"Yes, you were unconscious and soaked to the bone. I brought you here to dry you off and warm you up."

Cloud suddenly realised that he was no longer cold and wet, but instead warm and dry. His body wrapped in the comfort of a very thick, soft blanket. There was also something against his skin which felt different, the materials covering his frame being like silk and not the rough fabric of his normal clothes. Cloud pulled back the blanket to reveal that he was indeed wearing silk, the red material of a large pyjama set covering his smaller frame. The sleeves and trouser legs had been rolled up a little to fit him better, allowing his hands and feet to show through, but as the material was not designed for such actions they had already begun to unroll. This was not however the cadet's main concern. Instead he found himself looking up into the face of a man who had been able to strip and change him while he was unconscious, a man who he had never met before in his life. Cloud could feel his stomach clenching tightly as fear began to take over, his breath coming in small short gasps as his heart picked up its pace in his chest.

"You should calm down." Genesis said gently, not even needing his enhanced senses to see the boy's rising distress.

"I ... I should go." Cloud stammered, his words voicing an action which his body appeared unable to perform.

"As you wish, although it is still raining quite forcefully outside." Genesis informed the cadet carefully. "I will not stop you if you wish to leave, but I would advise against going now while the storm is building."

Cloud looked towards the covered window and debated how truthful the man was being. True it was dark outside, but surely that just meant it was night. As if understanding his thoughts the soldier rose and moved to the window, drawing back the blind to reveal the streams of water running soundlessly down the window pane.

"It is also well past curfew and you will no doubt get into trouble returning now."

"What ... What time is it?" Cloud asked hesitantly, watching as the blind was lowered once more to shield them from the night outside.

"A little after eleven."

"What?" Cloud gasped in disbelief. The feeling was quickly replaced by panic and guilt as he realised that the others would be worried about him. "Can I use your phone please?" He asked, noticing the slim object on the table.

"Of course." Genesis agreed, silently curious who the cadet would be calling at such an hour.

Cloud was on his feet in a second, the long trousers legs and sleeves rolling down completely covering his hands and feet. He grumbled silently as he yanked them back, quickly picking up the phone and typing in the number he knew by heart. Had the cadet waited a fraction of a second longer before putting the device to his ear, he would have seen Zack's name pop up in the caller display. Instead his eyes remained on the stranger across from him, watching the man cautiously for any sudden movements, his body tense and ready to run if necessary.

Zack rushed over to his phone as it began to ring, the small device vibrating against the table and moving away from his grasp. He swore softly as he was forced to reach over the table a second time to grab it, the small object suddenly moving out of his range on the next ring. He swore again when he saw the caller ID, but having better manors than the general answered it anyway.

"Hey Genesis, look man, now's not exactly a good time." He started looking across as the other two who were rolling their eyes and flopping back down onto the chairs. "I'm kinda busy with something and ..."

"Zack?" The soft hesitant voice cut in before he could continue.

"Cloud?" he gasped, the other two on their feet and moving towards him instantly. "Where are you? Why are you using Gen's phone? Are you all right? Cloud? Cloud?"

There was s soft click as the line went dead and Zack pulled the phone away from his ear to look at questioningly, as if it would be able to reveal why the cadet had just cut him off.

"What did he say?" Reno asked, looking at the stunned soldier.

"Nothing, he hung up."

"But it was him?"

"Yea."

"Then phone back you idiot," the Turk practically shouted.

Back in another apartment Genesis watched the blonde with interest, his head tilted to one side and a questioning look in his eyes as he studied the cadet. His curiosity about who the boy was phoning had been sated and was now replaced with the overwhelming desire to know why he had hung up on so quickly. He watched as the cadet stumbled back towards the sofa and sat back down, the whole time his hands playing nervously with the phone twisting it and turning it around unconsciously. The silence was suddenly broken by a shrill ring from the device and Genesis bit back a small laugh as the cadet jumped in response while letting out a small squeak of surprise. The phone also took the opportunity to jump at its own sound and leapt from the blonde's hands, bouncing twice on the carpet before coming to a stop.

Genesis observed the cadet's features as he stared at the phone, the boy clearly torn between needing to answer it but also not wanting to have to speak to the other person again. Sighing softly the soldier moved forward and picked up the phone, flipping it open to answer the call.

"Hello Zack." He said, before the younger soldier had a chance to speak .

"Gen ... I mean Genesis, hi, uuummm is Cloud there?"

"So that's his name." Genesis responded calmly.

"Ummm yea, blonde ki.. cadet, big blue eyes, kinda scrawn ... uuummm I mean ..."

"Yes, that would be the young man I have here with me." The older soldier replied, chuckling slightly.

"Oh thank Gaia. Is he ok? I mean ..."

"He is perfectly well."

"Can I ... can I speak to him?"

"Of course." Genesis replied, a second before he offered the phone to the cadet.

To his surprise Cloud shook his head and backed away, the desire to avoid the soldier clearly stronger now.

"I believe he is ... busy." Genesis offered, trying to be diplomatic.

"He's avoiding me, right?" Zack asked, his pained tone very obvious.

"Perhaps?" He replied softly, watching as the cadet kept his body at a distance while still straining to listen in.

"Should we ... I mean do you want me to come get him?"

"Let me check."

Genesis lowered the phone and covered the mouth piece with his hand, knowing it wouldn't do much good with a mako enhanced soldier listening at the other end, but it would look good for the cadet.

"Do you wish to ... be collected?" He asked hesitantly, suddenly unsure of the personal relationship these two might have.

A firm shake of the head was the response he had been expecting, the blonde clearly not willing to go with someone he wasn't ready to talk to yet.

"No, I believe it would be best if he stayed here." He informed the soldier, as neutrally as he could.

"Ok." The younger soldier breathed clearly disappointed. "Uuummm Gen?"

"Yes Zack." Genesis replied, ignoring the young soldiers abbreviated use of his name.

"Can you ... can you keep an eye on him for me. He ... there was an accident a few weeks back and he was hurt pretty bad."

Genesis went to reply, a question just reaching the tip of his tongue when Zack's voice quickly cut in.

"Don't ask, please. If he hears you ask he'll freak."

"Alright?"

"Look I can't explain now, just ... just watch him. He's ok, physically, but he's having ... bad dreams about stuff."

"That should be acceptable." Genesis replied evenly, noting the cadet's blue eyes darkening and becoming suspicious. "I will call back tomorrow to arrange a time for us to meet up."

The soldier quickly accepted the offer and both said their goodbyes before hanging up.

In Zack's apartment not much explanation was needed, the mako enhanced pair having been close enough to the phone to hear most of Genesis's words as well as the raven haired soldier's.

"At least he is safe." Sephiroth noted evenly.

"I wonder where Genesis found him." Reno asked thoughtfully.

"I am sure we will find out tomorrow, I only wish I had answered my phone sooner."

"You couldn't have known he had Cloud with him." Zack pointed out firmly.

"Perhaps, but I did feel I was missing something."

"Not that I don't care but I'm gonna crash and deal with this tomorrow." The Turk informed them, already stretching out on the sofa.

"You are sleeping there?" Sephiroth asked in surprise.

"I'll get soaked going back to mine in this weather."

"Why not the bedroom?" The general enquired, rephrasing his question a little better.

"I wasn't sure if ..." Reno began, his eyes glancing up at Zack before looking away again.

"You know I can't stay mad at you guys." The soldier offered by way of an apology.

"Then we should get some rest. I have a feeling tomorrow is going to be a long day," the general informed then evenly.

Genesis looked up at the cadet as he flipped the phone closed and smiled kindly. Almost instantly the blonde's face turned into a scowl and the blue eyes glowed with their own fierce intensity, one that would rival any mako enhancement.

"They told you." He growled softly, looking at the floor.

"They have mentioned something, but to be quite honest I have little interest." The soldier replied, already moving towards the kitchen.

"It was over a month ago." Cloud began, his need to defend himself beginning to take over.

"As I said, I do not really care." Genesis replied offhandedly. "Tea?"

Cloud looked up at the man and blinked several times in surprise, the soldier meeting his gaze with an open and honest expression.

"You really don't." Cloud whispered, his voice sounding somehow pleased and shocked at the same time.

"No. Now tea, yes something relaxing I think after that."

The apartment was more like Zack's than Sephiroth's so Cloud was able to watch as Genesis started the water boiling and rummaged around digging out cups and various supplies to make tea.

"You're lucky I was able to get some shopping done earlier, or we wouldn't even have this." The soldier noted without looking at the cadet.

"If it's too much trouble..." Cloud began, feeling a little self conscious now.

"No, it's no trouble. I felt like having one anyway."

A few minutes later and both sat comfortably on separate chairs drinking the warm soothing drink. Cloud was once again wrapped up in the blanket, snuggling into the warmth as the tea soothed the tension in his body. Even Genesis had thrown a comforter over his shoulders, the sounds of the storm now raging outside making him aware of a chill he shouldn't be feeling.

"So your name is Cloud." The soldier pointed out, breaking the silence which had settled between them.

"Yes, Sir." The cadet replied faintly.

Genesis smiled against the rim of his cup, the idea of being called sir by a cadet in an oversized pair pyjama's amusing him

"I appreciate the gesture Cloud, but please call me Genesis."

"But you're a soldier, you outrank me." The cadet protested, clearly surprised by the offer.

"Perhaps during the day, but we are both off duty right now so let's avoid formality."

"Ok." Cloud replied hesitantly.

"You seem nervous about something Cloud, what is it?"

"I'm ... it's nothing."

"It can't be nothing if it is bothering you."

"I just ... it's like I recognise you, but I can't place it."

"You do not know who I am?" Genesis asked in surprise.

"No. I ... the accident ... I forgot things. It's coming back, but ... there's still ... gaps."

"I see." The soldier replied, now very intrigued by the situation.

It was not often that he came across someone who didn't recognise him instantly and Genesis suddenly understood why the cadet had been so fearful. It wasn't that the blonde knew who he was and was afraid of getting into trouble, but that he had woken redressed in the home of a man he didn't know. Several questions raced through the soldiers mind at once, but he focused on one which was less intrusive to start with.

"How did you know I was a soldier if you did not recognise me?"

"You live in a soldier's apartment and ... you're body ... its ... like a soldier's and ..." Cloud stammered nervously

"And?." Genesis teased softly.

"Also your eyes ... have mako in them."

"Yes, they do." The soldier agreed, his voice sounding a little distant and causing a silence to fall between them.

"Sir, how do you know Zack? Are you friends?" Cloud asked cautiously, his recollection of the phone call making him wonder if this was why the man now seemed familiar to him.

"I have told you Cloud, call me Genesis." The auburn haired soldier scolded softly.

Cloud merle nodded in response and the soldier found himself wondering if the cadet would ever try to use his name as suggested. He smiled to show that he accepted the gesture and would not push the issue, then continued their conversation with another one of his own questions.

"Cloud, how do you know Zack?"

"Zack's my ... he's my ... friend."

"I see." Genesis replied, noting the strain in the cadet's voice. Clearly things were not as simple as that.

"May I ask why was the general was also present at your ... friend's apartment?"

Cloud practically choked on the small sip of tea he had just taken and coughed furiously trying to clear his airway again. Genesis rose and took the cup from the blonde's trembling hands, saving them both the trouble of clearing up any spillage by removing the danger. He then turned his attention back to the now gasping cadet and waited for an answer. When none came after a few minutes, even after Cloud had regained his breath, Genesis decided to try again.

"I was aware of Sephiroth, just as he was aware of me during that conversation." Genesis began evenly, never taking his eyes from the cadets. "The man likes to think he is unnoticeable, but when you grow up with someone you quickly learn to know things about them and the ability to notice their presence."

"I ... their ... friends" Cloud replied quickly, to stunned to notice the connection Genesis had just made between himself and the general.

"I see." The soldier repeated, letting the subject drop as he moved back to his chair.

Cloud watched silently, his body once again tense and waiting for trouble. When none came he slowly leant back against the sofa and drew his legs up against his chest, wrapping his arms around the bent knees in front of him and resting his chin on top of them. After a few minutes Genesis turned to face the cadet, his mouth opening to speak when he noticed the cautious look on the young face. The words died in his throat as the thought that this look was wrong for such a beautiful face, that such innocent eyes should not be tainted by something like fear.

"Have you ever heard of Loveless?" The soldier asked gently, keeping his voice low.

It was not a question Cloud had been expecting and while he was pleased with this, it took his confused mind a minute to process the question again. Finally his brain registered that he didn't know anything about this 'Loveless' that the man was speaking about and shook his head to silently communicate this fact.

"Would you like me to read some to you?" Genesis offered with a gentle smile.

Cloud nodded again, the idea of being told a story making his stomach flutter strangely. It was so much like a childish thing to do, to be comforted by a bedtime story. Yet this man offered it freely without any catches and had already been so caring that the cadet could hardly refuse such a small gesture of kindness. Cloud watched as Genesis fetched a book from his room and felt a small rush of excitement as the soldier took his place in the chair once more. It was only as he settled himself down against the sofa that the cadet realised there was a part of him that secretly wanted this, a small part of him which needed to be cared for like this right now. He listened as Genesis began to read, the man's voice speaking the words in a deep rich tone which made his body feel warm and safe. Soon the words began to blur together and the soothing voice continued to caress Cloud's mind as sleep drifted in and carried him away.

After a while Genesis stopped reading and looked over at the slumbering cadet smiling softly. The name hadn't meant much at first, the blonde simply being an interesting occurrence in his mundane day. But as he had read the tale he knew by heart, his mind had begun to locate the little bits of information he knew, the snippets of conversation with Angeal all starting to come together. This was Cloud, Angeal's puppies Cloud and apparently the generals Cloud as well. Genesis knew he didn't have much time before they would be sending him back out, that it was a matter of days rather than weeks before he would be redeployed again. But clearly there was something special about this boy, something which required further investigation before he left.


	2. Chapter 2

**The healing process – Part 2**

Cloud woke to the feel of someone shaking him roughly, the grip of a strong hand on his shoulder being the driving force behind the harsh motions. It took his dazed mind a minute to register that there was something wrong with this sensation, that he was not normally roused in such a forceful way. Blinking his eyes open to see through a sleepy fog, the cadet looked up into the face of man he did not recognise and panicked.

Genesis smiled as he looked upon the startled blonde, the boy's eyes opening wide to reveal that glorious blue again. He had tried to rouse the cadet with a gentle approach, but after that had failed a more aggressive technique had been required. He now found himself looking at the result of this tactic and while part of it amused him, there was also a part which regretted the decision. The blonde was clearly confused as he looked about frantically trying to work out where he was and that fear was back in his eyes again. It was a look that Genesis did not like.

"Calm down, you're alright." He informed the cadet, while moving back to give the boy some space.

"I ... how ..." Cloud's words trailed off as his brain finally woke up and filled in the missing pieces, reminding him about everything which had happened the night before. "I'm sorry, Sir." He responded quickly, his body instinctively attempting to stand and salute.

"I'll have none of that." Genesis interrupted quickly, gently pushing him back down onto the sofa. "I told you while we are off duty I am Genesis and you are Cloud."

Once again the cadet only nodded silently to the soldier, his face turning to look away before anything else could be said about it. Genesis sighed and rose to his feet properly, turning to walk towards the kitchen where the water had just finished boiling.

"Would you like some breakfast?"

"No thank you." Cloud replied hesitantly, his stomach still recovering from the shock of waking up in an unfamiliar place.

"What time is your first class today?" Genesis asked casually.

"It's at eight."

The soldier stopped what he was doing and looked at the cadet with slightly widened eyes, in turn making Cloud feel even more worried and uncomfortable.

"Did I say something wrong?"

"No, but its gone seven now and you still need to get ready."

Genesis had never seen a cadet move so fast, the boy practically a blur or red and gold as he flew from the sofa towards the door. The soldier barely reacted in time, grabbing the cadet around the waist to stop him from running out of the apartment.

"Let go of me, let me go!" Cloud cried, lashing out at the soldier and backing away as soon as the hold on him was loosened.

"I have no intention of harming you." Genesis replied calmly, while raising his hands as a sign of peace.

"Then ... then why did you ... do that?"

"You were about to leave wearing my pyjamas. I'm not sure if things have changed while I was away, but I'm sure that would have only led to more problems for you."

Cloud's body seemed to freeze, the gasping breaths and pounding heart quietening almost instantly as he looked down at his attire. A feeling of dread coursed through his veins as he realised that Genesis was right, if he had left dressed like this there would have been no end to the rumours and gossip.

"Thank you." Was all Cloud could manage to say, as his body began to tremble slightly.

"There is no need to thank me. It is my fault for waking you in such a way and then surprising you again so quickly. Your clothes are in the bathroom drying if you wish to change." Genesis said, noting another dip in the emotional rollercoaster the boy seemed to be riding.

Cloud didn't know what to say so nodded silently and then quickly disappeared into the room to change, emerging a few minutes later looking drained and dishevelled.

"You appear in need of rest." The soldier commented casually, as he sipped his drink leaning against the kitchen work top.

"I'm fine." Was the blunt and firm reply he received.

"As you wish, might I suggest you hurry then or you will be late." He responded, amused by yet another emotion being displayed.

Cloud nodded again, his choice to remain silent both confusing and intriguing the soldier. Genesis watched as the cadet placed the rolled up pyjamas on the worktop of the kitchen as he walked past, letting his senses track the blonde's progress to the door rather than following the boy himself. He heard the door click as it was opened, but there was a notable pause as the cadet hesitated in the door way.

"Thank you ... Genesis."

"You are welcome Cloud."

With that the cadet was gone, the door closing almost silently behind him, leaving the soldier to ponder over this new discovery of his.

Cloud hurried through the building heading towards what he assumed was the main entrance, thankful when he emerged outside and quickly glanced around to establish his bearings. It turned out that Genesis's apartment was closer to Zack's than he had thought, so it would have made more sense for him to go there and change. Unfortunately his heart wasn't ready to face the soldier yet, or any of them for that matter, and so he turned and ran towards the cadet dorms. He breathed a silent prayer of thanks that this choice was even possible, his original uniform belts and pads still being at Zack's apartment, but the spare set the soldier had acquired for him being hidden safely in his dorm room. Cloud sighed heavily knowing that if it hadn't been for Zack interfering that time and getting him the extra set he wouldn't have this opportunity now. He always protested their efforts to help him, always insisting he could handle the problems himself, but now he was actually grateful that the soldier had got involved. Not only had it saved his butt back then, but also meant that he would be able to avoid going back to Zack's now.

Cloud turned and ran as fast as he could, moving quickly to reach the dorms and change, his body still aching and sore from last nights abuse. There was barely be time to get there and dress correctly for class, let alone time for a shower to wash and relieve the twinges in his muscles. He groaned to himself knowing that if he felt like this now, then training in the afternoon was going to be agony. Taking a deep breath Cloud pushed forward, he could worry about that later, right now he really didn't want to be late.

xxxxxxxxxxxx

"Zack will you stop pacing." Sephiroth said, his voice strained as he tried not to make it an order.

"I can't help it Seph."

"I know you are worried, but you are starting to wear a hole in the carpet." The general scolded, now silently wishing he hadn't stopped the soldier from doing those infuriating squats earlier.

Zack looked down at the floor where he had been making circuits for the past hour, looking for evidence to support this statement, and was actually surprised to see a faint ring forming.

"Sorry. I just hate this waiting around." He sighed, flopping down on the small sofa in the room.

"Don't you have work to do, duties to attend to?"

"No duties and I'm too wound up to do paper work." Zack sighed, letting his head fall back to stare at the ceiling.

"Then why don't you go and use one of the VR training rooms. It will give you something else to focus on." Sephiroth offered gently.

"Yea, maybe you're right."

There was a few minutes of silence and Sephiroth watched as Zack continued to stare silently at the white ceiling, the soldier's stillness unnerving the general greatly. It was bad enough that Reno had been quite when he left that morning, but now to have Zack so withdrawn it was almost like torture.

"Come on." Sephiroth said, suddenly rising from his chair and making the soldier's head snap round to look at him.

"Where?" Zack asked, his mind quickly returning from its deep thoughts.

"The training room. I have done enough for now and believe a short session will do us both some good."

Zack smiled at the general as he watched the man move past him towards the door, knowing that in fact there was a mountain of work to be done. He quickly rose and followed Sephiroth out of the room, feeling a little better as they made their way along the corridor. At least this way he wouldn't have to think about the time passing by so slowly.

xxxxxxxxxxxx

"Reno!"

"What?!" The red head snapped as he was dragged back from his internal musings.

"Have you heard a word I've been saying?" Tseng demanded sternly.

"Yea, something about a missing file." The younger Turk sighed, not really caring about any of it.

"The file was important and you will find it now. Or perhaps you would like to spend all night organising Shane's filing system."

The threat was not one of physical pain, but something much worse and Reno was quick to respond appropriately. His desire to avoid a filing system, which was worse than his own, giving him incentive to focus on the task at hand.

"I'm on it." He informed the head Turk quickly and hurried off to find the file.

Tseng watched the red head disappear from the office and sighed heavily, his worry for the younger man growing a little more. It was true that Reno was not the most attentive when it came to mundane things, but he was known for being one of the best Turk's in the field. Unfortunately this was no longer the case and Reno was starting to slip up at work, obviously distracted by something. Tseng sighed heavily as he sat back down in his chair and looked out of the window.

He was very much aware of the young Turk's current relationships and while he didn't approve of the red head's choice of partners, he had been given no reason to protest them ... until now. The head Turk knew that Reno's troubles all stemmed from the cadet's accident, that whatever problems he was going through as a result of it were now beginning to filter into his work. Tseng sighed heavily knowing that he didn't want to interfere with Reno's personal life, but also knowing he couldn't have one of his men being so distracted. Their job was not an easy one and required complete focus, a lack of concentration could easily result in one of them being severely injured or even killed and it was not a risk he was willing to take. The head Turk frowned as he debated what to do about the matter, his lack of options bothering him greatly. In the end there really were only two choices available, either Reno sorted out his private affairs or he was reassigned within the Turks. Tseng sighed again as a dull ache began to form in the back of his head, he really didn't want to make Reno choose between the two most important things in his life.

xxxxxxxxxxxx

Although they kept themselves busy the day passed slowly for Zack, Reno and Sephiroth, each man trying to not watch the clock as each minute ticked by. Meanwhile for Cloud and Genesis the hours flew by with both being caught up in their various activities.

Cloud had barely made it class in time, but had still been awarded punishment for not having his assignment to hand in. The cadet had apologised and accepted the punishment without argument, unable to explain why the work was not done. In truth the essay had been completed a few days ago, but was currently sitting amongst his other books at Zack's apartment. The day hadn't got much better for the cadet when he arrived at his materia class without the textbook he needed, again the item being at the soldier's home. Cloud gritted his teeth and accepted yet another punishment, a little voice in the back his head warning him that it was going to be one of those days. Having missed breakfast Cloud was actually looking forward to the vile slop which the canteen liked to call lunch, except that he now had two additional assignments to deal with. Choosing to get the work done over a need to eat, the cadet headed off to the library and proceeded to bury his head amongst the books there. The tasks took longer to do than planned and Cloud almost cried when he realised that he was going to be late for training, having lost track of time completely. There was a moment of debate about whether to just miss it all together, but the fallout from that would just be worse. He arrived almost twenty minutes after class had started and once again accepted the punishment assigned without argument. This time the disappointment in the instructor's voice affected him, his already tired mind allowing Sergeant Shaw's words to dig at his damaged heart.

Genesis had enjoyed his day catching up on various things, such as the compound gossip. Being in Wutai meant he tended to miss most of the juiciest pieces of information, which is why he regularly liked to return to deliver evaluation reports himself. This visit as no exception and after mingling with the right groups of people he had been updated quite sufficiently. He couldn't help but smile at some of the rumours, knowing that certain aspects were true based on last nights revelations. He also chuckled to think about some of the other things he had heard and wondered how true they were as well. In the end he had been almost pleased to know that Sephiroth was 'involved' with so many interesting characters, although he couldn't work out what surprised him most. The fact that the general was sleeping with not only a cadet, although he could understand based on the boy's appearance, but Angeal's puppy and the red head Turk who worked for Tseng.

"An interesting choice my friend." He spoke to the air, knowing that on one could hear him.

It was only now that Genesis realised that he was outside the gym, where the sounds of cadet's training could be heard coming from inside. Having nothing better to do the soldier made his way into the room and stood silently to one side watching at the future soldier candidates performed various skills with the training swords. He noted that some were clearly not suited to the blade while others showed potential if given more time. It only took his eyes a minute to find the blonde haired cadet across the room and he instantly saw the difference between this boy and his peers. Cloud appeared to be sparing with another cadet in a small group, their advanced skills distinguishing them from the rest of the class. But even then the blonde appeared to still surpass his peers, the cadet clearly holding back to hide this fact.

The sound of metal clanging loudly sounded through the room and bounced off the walls, drawing everyone's attention to the cadet who now stood opened mouthed and staring at him. Genesis sighed heavily but kept his pleasant smile in place as the rest of the cadet's turned to follow their peers gaze. Something close to a wave like affect happened next, as the young soldier hopefuls sprung into stiff formal salutes, the cadet's at the front acting first and the motion rippling through the crowd to the ones at the back.

"General Rhapsodos, Sir" Sergeant Shaw announced, also standing to attention.

"Relax sergeant, I was merely passing by and thought I might take the opportunity to observe our future soldiers."

"Yes sir. It would be an honour Sir."

"You can all relax and return to your training." Genesis instructed the cadet's, his voice carrying the suggestion almost like an order, but not quite.

There was only a moment of hesitation before the cadet's returned to what they had been doing, each one now focused on the task at hand in hope of impressing the man observing them. Cloud watched in stunned amazement at the interaction going on between the sergeant and the familiar man who had helped him last night. It was only now that he saw the soldier in his 'uniform' and heard Shaw address him with his full title that the blonde's memory filled in the missing pieces and he realised who's apartment he had spent the night in.

"Hey Cloud, you ok." Jacob asked, noting the way his sparring partner had paled and then suddenly started to blush.

"Yea, I'm fine" Cloud breathed, his heart still racing in his chest.

"You sure?" Jacob replied, doubting the words as the blonde continued to look both surprised and embarrassed about something.

"Is that really General Rhapsodos?" Cloud asked, his voice a whisper as his eyes remained fixed on the auburn haired soldier

"Yep." Jacob confirmed happily, as his mind started to put two and two together.

They all knew that Cloud was still recovering his memories, that the blonde still had small gaps in his past about people or places. The young cadet looked over at Cloud and smiled kindly, now believing he understood why the blonde had reacted the way he had. It was always awkward for the blonde cadet when he couldn't remember something and he would often be embarrassed by this fact. It therefore made sense that he would react in a similar way now, if he had forgotten who the general was, especially if it felt like he was seeing the great soldier for the first time. Had Jacob known the real reason for Cloud's embarrassment he may have been less sympathetic to the blonde's situation.

"He's been in Wutai for the past several months." The cadet added helpfully. "It's probably why you didn't recognise him at first."

"Oh." Cloud breathed, still distracted by Genesis as he moved amongst the other cadet's.

"Come on, we need to practice." Jacob said, now waving a hand in front of Cloud's face to get his attention back on what they were doing. "You're already in enough trouble for being late."

"Please don't remind me." Cloud whispered back, his shoulders slumping at the thought of the extra session he had after class to make up for it.

"Shaw's only making you do an extra hour, it could be worse."

"I guess," Cloud sighed.

"Cheer up. Who knows, maybe the general will come and watch us." Jacob continued, oblivious to the blonde's disheartened state.

"I hope not, I've already got enough to worry about." Cloud mumbled as they faced each other again and continued where they had left off.

Genesis hung around a little longer walking amongst the group and observing skills and techniques which were being practised. He made comments where praise appeared deserving and suggestions when positions or grips were incorrect. He passed by Cloud's group and offered a suggestion to a couple of boys regarding the defence they were trying to perform. It was clear from the blonde's tense shoulders and dipped head that he didn't want to be acknowledged and Genesis allowed this, moving on without a word. He was accustomed to cadet's fawning over him, the ore struck boys bragging whenever he had spoken with them, and somehow using any personal interaction to make themselves appear better than their peers. He therefore found it interesting that this boy would chose to be ignored rather than have their very informal interaction made public knowledge. Though perhaps, based on his current relationships, it would only add to the rumours. Genesis felt the smile on his face falter then, as he realised what some of the cadet's troubles were. He turned to look at the blonde once more before leaving, deciding that he would be back later to 'accidentally' pop in during the boys punishment. He chuckled softly to himself, the benefits of enhanced hearing paying off once more, the naive cadet's thinking that they would not be heard if they whispered.

xxxxxxxxxxxx

Training ended at five on the dot and a blonde cadet watched patiently as the rest of his class were dismissed. It had been a long day, with no end of problems and all Cloud wanted to do was go home and curl up in bed. There were however two problems to this desire. The first being he still had another hour of training to do and the other being the lack of home to go to.

"Ok Strife, let's get this over with." Shaw called across as the last cadet moved through the door.

Cloud watched as Jacob left, his new friend waiting till the very end to check he was ok. They exchanged a quick smile before the door closed and Cloud was left alone once more.

"Yes Sir." He responded, as was expected of him, and moved to join the sergeant by the mats.

Forty-five minutes later, as Cloud was performing another set of sit up's, the gym door opened and Genesis walked in. Both cadet and sergeant stopped to look up and the soldier smiled in greeting.

"I'm sorry I thought the gym would be empty by now" Genesis informed them casually.

"Sir, I was just finishing with cadet Strife" Shaw responded.

"Is he receiving extra tuition?" The soldier asked in an offhand manor, as he moved over to join them.

"No. It's a punishment for being late to class earlier."

"That is a shame." Genesis replied evenly, looking down at the blonde at their feet. "Did he explain his tardiness?"

"No sir"

"Has he done this before?"

"No. Normally he is an excellent student."

Cloud didn't bother looking up as he continued to complete the set, instead focusing himself on finishing the repetitions. He could feel their eyes on him, the combined looks burning his skin questioningly, but it was the words which once again bit the hardest.

"I see, well carry on then." Genesis responded evenly, before moving away from them both.

The next fifteen minutes passed quickly with Cloud completing his assigned punishment while Genesis proceeded to workout with his sword across the room from them. The soldier had removed his coat and various accessories to train easier, in turn revealing a well built figure covered in tight leather trousers and a plain black t-shirt. If his body hadn't been tempting enough to watch, as it moved forcefully through a series of exercises, then the blade in his hands was, the fire coloured metal cutting through the air with purpose. Neither cadet nor sergeant could deny the distraction the man was becoming and both seemed relieved when the time ended.

"Try not to be late again." Shaw said, his eyes levelling with Cloud's and silently asking why it had happened this time.

"I won't." The cadet replied, breaking the connection quickly.

"Perhaps it would be best if I had a word?" Genesis offered, suddenly appearing behind them.

"I'm sure that's not necessary." Shaw began, noting the way the cadet's eyes had widened as they continued to stare at the floor.

"Nonsense. If the boy has as much potential as you say then we cannot have him slipping now." Genesis replied indifferently.

The reaction he got was perfect, almost as good as he could have hoped for. The blonde looked up now, his expression clearly surprised by this revelation and Shaw looking back a little flustered that his appraisal had been made public knowledge.

"Well, yes in that case," the sergeant stammered. "I will leave him in your capable hands."

Cloud watched in shock as the sergeant left, the man not even hesitating as he passed through the door to escape.

"Now where were we little one?" Genesis asked smoothly, a broad smile covering his features.

"You didn't tell me you were General Rhapsodos." Cloud noted evenly.

"True, but would it have made you feel any better?"

Cloud thought about it for a minute and realised Genesis was right, the knowledge would have probably resulted in him running a mile. Instead of arguing the fact he decided to ask the question which was really bothering him now.

"Are you really going to lecture me?"

"No, but it did give me an excuse to keep you here."

"Why?"

"You performance today in class was poor, you were clearly holding back and that is one thing I cannot abide by."

"I can't let go with the other's I ..."

"I am aware of their abilities as I am aware of yours. Now we will spend some time going over your technique so that I can assess it properly."

Before Cloud could argue a training sword was placed in his hands and he was being led to the centre of a training mat. He looked at the sword in his hand and then up at the general in stunned confusion.

"What seems to be the problem?"

"You're ... you're not treating me like ..."

"Like you might break?"

"Yes."

"As I said before I do not care about your accident or how it affected you then. The fact is you are a fully functioning and capable cadet who has been holding back. There is no need to treat you as anything else."

"Thank you." Cloud breathed, a small smile gracing his delicate features as he was finally treated like an equal.

"Good. Now do not hold back little one. I will not break either."

The mock battle was quite impressive, had anyone else been present to see it, and Genesis had to admit that the blonde was exceptional for someone of his rank. He also had to admit that the young cadet's appearance was starting to have a rather surprising effect on his body. Cloud's skin had already been coated in a light sweat when they had begun, as a result of the extensive instruction, and now seemed to glow with a flushed sheen over his entire body. Genesis also noticed how the cadet's uniform now clung to his lithe frame, much like it had the night before, the sodden material revealing a very attractive figure hidden beneath it.

They had been going for nearly an hour now and the blonde's facade of being 'alright' was clearly no longer holding up. Some of his hair was now plastered to his face, the golden strands framing a face which continued to gasp in deep breaths of air through pale pink lips. The soldier was also aware of the heart which was currently pounding furiously within that appealing body, and knew that the blonde was at his limit.

Cloud blocked the next attack easily, balancing his weight quickly while bringing his sword up to protect his chest from the soldier's blade. The defence was good but unfortunately his exhausted body decided that it couldn't take anymore and instead of holding him up, it let him go. A small growl of frustration escaped his lips as he lost his balance and fell backwards onto the mat, his hand instinctively going out to grab something to hold on to. A second later and Cloud found himself on his back, his sword resting on the floor beside him, his hands trapped between his own body and the one now lying on top of him.

"Well I must say, this is a surprise." Genesis purred, as he let his own sword go in preference of having two free hands.

"I'm sorry." Cloud choked between gasping breaths, as his body continued to draw in desperately needed air.

"No need to be sorry." The soldier replied, his arms coming to rest on their elbows on either side of Cloud's body, effectively pinning the cadet to the mat.

"I ... I ..." Cloud began, his mouth going dry as their eyes connected.

"You?" Genesis enquired softly, his lower body moving to rest more comfortable between the cadet's legs, forcing them to spread to accommodate the new position.

Cloud's breath hitched in his throat as the sensation of their bodies touching stole his ability to think let alone speak. There was no way to misinterpret how Genesis felt about the situation, the man's arousal now pressed firmly against his hip. Nor was there a way to deny the cadet's excitement as his own body began to respond to the position they were in. A part of Cloud's mind screamed that this was wrong, that he shouldn't be feeling this, but he never had a chance to finish the thought. Warm soft lips suddenly descended upon his own and silenced the internal voices, the kiss becoming forceful and demanding as it played against his mouth. Cloud's heart slammed into this chest as his lips were forced to part and a tongue invaded the space within, the warm muscles demanding obedience as it explored and tasted him.

Genesis smiled as a small moan of pleasure escaped the blonde beneath him, the feel of the cadet's body becoming aroused against his own. He deepened the kiss and shifted himself up, the action pushing Cloud's head back and making his back arch slightly off the ground. This in turn changed the positions of their lower bodies, bringing them even closer together. The soldier broke away from the kiss to gasp as the sensation made his body shudder and heat pool in his groin. He heard the cadet breathing heavily beneath him and looked down into deep pools of blue, the eyes revealing the blonde's need as strongly as his own. He only hesitated for a moment, the pull of the glowing spheres holding him in their gaze, unable to move until the cadet blinked and broke the spell he had cast. Genesis initiated the kiss again, his demanding nature allowing for nothing less, but this time he felt Cloud respond. He moaned into the cadet's mouth as the blonde's tongue met his own, as they played against one another with shared desire.

Cloud felt like his chest was on fire, his veins filled with liquid heat as want and need flooded his system. It had been so long since anyone had touched him like this, weeks since he had felt the intensity of such demanding kisses, nearly a month since experiencing such intimate contact against his body. His mind was gone now, as he responded to the soldier's advances, the voice of reason having abandoned him in preference for his undeniable desire. Cloud moaned again as Genesis's body ground against his own once more, the cloth covered bulge rubbing against his erection and making his body buck in pleasure. Through the fog like world forming around him, and the lust filled existence consuming him, Cloud suddenly heard a single voice in his heart screaming at him to stop. The voice may have been alone in its protests but it resided in the one place where love existed and not lust, where reason stood tall over want, the only place where hurt would never heal. The voice had strength and power and Cloud felt the rest of his body respond to its demands instantly.

Genesis knew something was wrong, could feel it in the way the body beneath him changed, the blonde no longer returning the kiss they shared but now pulling away from it. Cloud's arousal was also gone, the firm flesh no longer pressed against his own between their bodies, instead replaced with a sudden tension which had filled the cadet's entire body. The soldier pulled back as well and looked down at the angelic face questioningly. What he saw made his heart stutter, the cadet's sky blue eyes now dark like a stormy sky and raining tears over pale skin. There was still heat within the eyes, still a need for this contact, but now it was being consumed by other emotions such as guilt and fear.

"You want this, but not with me." Genesis spoke softly, understanding almost instantly what was happening.

"I'm sorry." Cloud whispered, as fresh tears escaped his eyes and quickly followed the already visible silver tracks on his face.

"You have nothing to apologise for, but I believe your ... friends do." He replied gently, moving away so that they could both sit up on the mats to talk now that the moment had passed.

While Genesis sat relaxed with one leg stretched out and the other bent and drawn up to his chest so he could rest his chin upon it, Cloud curled up in on himself. The cadet's emotional turmoil still playing out within him as he hugged his knees tighter to his chest, wrapping his arms around the limbs and burying his head into the gap it created. Although the soldier couldn't see the tears anymore he could still sense they were falling, the cadet's shoulders trembling faintly as he continued to cry in silence.

A small noise by the door made Genesis look up over Cloud's body and spot the other men entering the room across from him, their expressions showing the distress each was feeling at seeing the blonde in such a state. Even the emotionally challenged Sephiroth appeared to be affected by the cadet's tears as he moved towards them. Genesis quickly raised a hand to silence the small group and with a glare warned them to stay put, a plan forming in his mind. Cloud had not yet noticed their arrival and with his back to them would not be aware of their presence until they made it so. Perhaps he could work the situation to benefit them all.

"How long have they been avoiding ... intimacy with you?" he asked carefully, his eyes never leaving the small group as he continued to glare at them to remain silent.

He was not surprised to see their faces react in shock to such a personal question being asked, especially as it involved them as well. He was intrigued however when their faces betrayed their shock as Cloud answered the question.

"Since ... since just after the ... accident."

"They have not ... touched you at all?"

"No." Cloud breathed, his voice choking on a small sob. "They did ... but then they ... they stopped."

"Why?" Genesis asked gently, his eyes glowing with anger as he glared at the men across from him.

"I ... I'm not sure. At first it was so I could ... remember... it was to give me time. Then it ... it changed and they ... they changed."

"It can't have changed that much between you." Genesis noted keeping his voice neutral, but the narrowing of his eyes showing his true feelings for the cadet's obvious pain at the situation.

"They don't even hold me the way they used to, not anymore." Cloud replied softly, his voice sounding so heartbroken that the men standing all staggered as if wounded by an unseen blow to their chests.

"I don't understand, how can they not hold you like they did before?"

"It's always ... it's brief and hesitant, like I'm a piece of glass that's going to break."

"So last night when I found you, was it because of ... these things."

"Some of it." Cloud admitted sadly, his head coming up to rest on his knees so he could remain curled up while still looking at Genesis.

"Then it was also because of something they said to you?"

"No, it was because ... because of what they said to each other."

"They were fighting?"

"Yes" Cloud replied, the words barely audible with the small choked sob which accompanied it.

"Do they fight a lot then?"

"They didn't before, it's only since ... since I got hurt. They fight because of me, it's my fault." Cloud whimpered, as fresh tears sprang free and ran a new course down over his flushed cheeks.

"Cloud have you tried talking to them about this?" Genesis asked gently, while quickly shooting a deathly glare at Zack who had taken a step forward and gone to speak.

"I tried, but they ... I know they mean well, but ..."

"They don't listen to you, at least not properly." Genesis offered, guessing what the cadet was trying to say without sounding accusing.

"Yes."

"If they were here now what would you say to them, what would you ask of them." the soldier asked, in a flash of inspiration.

"Either hold me close or let me go." Cloud replied without hesitation, his words surprising all of the men around him.

"You wish to leave them?" Genesis asked carefully.

"No. I ... I love them ... with all my heart, but I can't ... I can't do this if ... if it can't be what it was." The cadet stammered as fresh tears ran free.

"Then you remember those times?"

"Yes and I was so happy ..." Cloud began, his words trailing off.

"Was? What about now?"

"I'm so alone." The cadet breathed, burying his head against his body once more, no longer able to face the world let alone the soldier.

It was only now that Genesis allowed the small group to move, that he gestured for them to come forward and join himself and Cloud on the mats. He remained still as the cadet continued to cry silently beside him and the younger soldier came to rest at the blonde's back. Zack's strong arms went around Cloud's body first, slowly drawing the trembling form into the protective circle of his embrace. To their surprise Cloud didn't flinch away at the contact as they had expected, if anything he lent into it and pressed himself closer to the young soldier's body.

"Cloud?" Zack asked carefully, unsure how the cadet would handle this revelation.

"Hey Zack," was the soft muffled reply.

"How did you know it was me?" The soldier teased gently, taking Cloud's calm tone as a good sign.

"Cause Sephiroth's still standing where you left him and Reno's making the edge of the mat shift."

"You knew we were there?"

"Not at first, but yea I noticed you near the end."

"That's my Spiky." Zack announced softly, his voice warm and full of pride.

"So what's it going to be?" Cloud asked hesitantly, his voice guarded as he remained curled up and hidden away.

"What's what going to be?"

"Are you going to hold me close or let me go?" Cloud asked firmly, his head finally coming up so he could meet Zack's eyes.

Being the closest the young soldier was instantly hit by the weight of Cloud's gaze, the others receiving smaller doses but no less of the intensity.

"I could never let you go." Zack replied without hesitation, forcing every part of his heart to communicate this fact trough his eyes to Cloud's

"Then stop pushing me away. Just let things happen. Trust me to know what's right for me."

"Spiky I ..."

"If the next words out of your mouth are I can't or anything like that, then the next ones out of mine will be goodbye." Cloud warned, his voice going cold as he began to distance himself ready for the pain of walking away.

"Fine, but if you want us to trust you then you need to start being honest with us," the soldier replied firmly.

"How?"

"For a start, who's Tifa?"

"How ... how do you know that name?" Cloud gasped in surprise.

"You've said it a couple of times in your sleep and each time it seems to ... upset you."

"She's ... a girl ... from back home."

"And?"

Cloud pulled away from Zack's embrace then, his sudden movements catching the soldier by surprise. They all watched as the cadet rose to his feet, picking his sword up in the processes, and moved away from them all. There was a thick silence as they waited for him to speak, his attention fixed on the blade in his hands as he gripped the handle tightly.

"She's the reason I'm here." Cloud said at last, the words spilling out like water from a fountain.

"You joined the army for a girl?" Reno asked, when no one else seemed ready to speak.

"Yea" Cloud replied, chuckling at the irony of his life.

"Then you care a great deal for her?" Sephiroth asked carefully.

"I ... did."

"Does she care about you?"

"Ha, that's a good one." Cloud chocked, swinging the sword back and forth as he began to pace restlessly in front of them.

"Spiky?" Zack coaxed gently, nervous by the way the cadet now refused to meet their gaze.

"We weren't even friends. She never really ... she didn't know me. If anything she made my life more ... uncomfortable."

"You joined the army for a girl who made your life a misery?" Reno asked bluntly.

The Turk flinched at the glare they all gave him and shrugged apologetically, his attention turning back to the blonde who had been the only one to not react to the outburst.

"I joined to become a soldier so I could protect her, so I could ... I don't know, get her to notice me." Cloud confessed, as he brought the sword up so that the flat side of the blade offered a distorted reflection of his image.

"Protect her? Spiky, did something happen to her?"

They all waited for the answer, their breathes held as Cloud lowered the sword and turned away from them so he couldn't look into their accusing eyes. He didn't want to see eyes like that again, ones which blamed him for everything, especially now from the people he loved.

"She ... she went up the mountains and slipped. I was there and tried to save her, but I was ... I was too weak and she ... she fell."

"I wasn't your fault that she slipped, I'm sure you did your best."

"But it wasn't good enough, they said ... they said it was my fault that she ... she could have died."

"Who, who said it was your fault?"

"Everyone. They all said I shouldn't have let her go, that I ... that I shouldn't have taken her up there."

"Did you take her up there?" Sephiroth asked evenly.

"No. She wanted to go, but they were right ... I should have stopped her."

"You cannot stop someone from doing what they chose to do. You are also not responsible for how those actions turn out."

"Seph's right Spiky, that wasn't your fault."

"Yes it was, I wasn't strong enough and we fell and she got hurt and..."

"Hang on, we fell, you mean you both went over the edge?" Zack cut in, a second before Reno could.

"Yes."

"Weren't you hurt as well?"

"Yes."

"And they still blamed you?"

"Yes," the word repeated again, but barely a whisper now.

"Sweet Gaia, no wonder you ..." Zack's words were stopped by a hand slapping down over his mouth and he glared at the auburn haired soldier in front of him.

"Cloud, do you still care about this girl?" Genesis asked gently, ignoring Zack's protesting huff as he shoved the hand away.

"I should do, shouldn't I? I mean I joined for her. She's why I'm here."

"That's not exactly answering the question Spiky."

Once again the words were left to hang in silence, the men watching the cadet and waiting as he played with the sword.

"You want to know what the funny thing is?" Cloud finally asked, his voice breaking as a bitter laugh escaped his lips. "I ... I actually thought I loved her, but ... but I was wrong."

"How can you be sure?" The raven haired soldier asked, his heart now catching up with his head as it began to feel the weight of their words.

Zack had never felt such dread before in all his life, the knowledge that he had possibly corrupted Cloud and taken him away from a childhood sweetheart. Sure it was a one sided crush and the girl seemed to be more trouble than she was worth, but still Cloud had joined for her and that meant something. The soldier's mind raced over their past together, covering numerous conversation which could have hinted at there being a girl waiting for the cadet back home. Even when he found nothing Zack's heart continued to race, his hands sweating and his stomaching somehow turning itself into lead deep within him. His breathing stopped as Cloud finally turned around to face them, his pale face stained with pink tear tracks, the silently falling droplets the evidence of his pain.

"Because I never felt this way about her, the way I feel ... about you." Cloud confessed softly, his eyes showing the raw emotion being felt as he laid his life out in front of them, his heart exposed and so dangerously vulnerable.

Zack was on his feet in an instant and holding Cloud once more, his arms wrapping firmly around the smaller body pulling it tightly against his own. He breathed a small sigh of relief as the cadet's arms came up to rest on his lower back, the new position completing their embrace. The soldier felt his top become damp as more tears left Cloud's body, only to be absorbed into the material of his shirt, and placed a reassuring kiss amongst a crown of golden spikes.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know it would ... that it would upset you so much." Zack spoke softly against Cloud's head. "I shouldn't have pushed you like that."

"You didn't know." The cadet murmured against his chest.

"I'm still sorry."

"Zack?"

"Yea."

"Can we go home now?"

"Sure, you tired?" Zack asked, happily accepting Cloud's need to change the subject now.

"Yes."

"I'm not surprised if you've been sparring with Genesis since class finished, you must be exhausted." The young soldier joked softly.

"Oh we've only been sparing for an hour." The auburn haired soldier informed them as he rose to fetch his coat. "Sergeant Shaw had Cloud here for an hour doing extra sets as punishment."

"What the hell for?" Reno demanded instantly.

"Apparently he was late to class."

"It's nothing." Cloud protested feebly, trying to avoid the gaze Zack was now giving him having moved back slightly from their hold on each other.

"Why were you late Spiky, it's not like you?"

"It's nothing."

"Cloud." Sephiroth warned gently.

"Fine." Cloud sighed pulling away. "I was late because I was in the library and didn't see the time, and before you ask I was there because I was trying to get my additional assignments done."

"Additional assignments, there only given out as ..."

"That's right, as punishment." Cloud finished for the stunned Turk.

"What for?" Sephiroth asked evenly.

"Because I didn't have my tactics essay to hand in, or my materia text book for class."

"Why not?"

"Because there at Zack's."

"Oh."

"Yea, it's been a great day for me, really it has." Cloud grumbled, as he walked away to put the training sword back in its proper place.

"Wait a minute." Genesis began, an uneasy feeling creeping though his head. "If you were in the library at lunch time then you have not eaten yet today."

"What?" Zack and Reno said in unison.

"Did he not have breakfast at your apartment this morning?" Sephiroth asked, also a little disturbed by this revelation.

"No, he woke up too late and had to get to class."

"Spiky, you can't go all day without eating. No wonder you look so tired."

"It has been longer than a day Zack, do not forget that none of us had dinner last night." Sephiroth reminded the soldier gently.

"Damn it Spiky, why didn't you say something."

"Sorry, I guess I forgot to add it in somewhere between my heartfelt confession and painful past." Cloud snapped back in annoyance.

"Smooth." Reno muttered, looking towards Zack.

"Ok, I get it, I'm an idiot. Now can we get out of here and sort some food out."

"I will leave you to it then." Genesis said as he moved towards the door, his coat and harness now firmly in place again.

"Thank you for your help." Sephiroth called, just as the auburn haired soldier left.

"You are welcome, my friend." He replied before turning to face Cloud. "Goodbye little one, I hope to see you again soon."

"Goodbye ... Genesis." Cloud breathed gently, their eyes connecting in a silent understanding.

A minute later and Genesis was gone, the door swinging closed behind him.

"Did he just call you little one?" Reno asked, his jaw practically hanging open in shook.

"Yes." Cloud said, chuckling slightly.

"But you threaten to kill me for calling you kid."

"Because I'm not a kid."

They all headed though the door now and began to make their way along the deserted corridor, the conversation carrying on effortlessly much to Sephiroth's pleasure.

"But it's ok to call you little one?" Reno asked almost hopefully.

"Not for you it's not."

"So why him?"

"Because it's hard to argue the description when the man's seen me drowning in his spare pyjamas."

"Hold it, time out, you were what?" Zack cut in.

"Would you rather I slept naked?" Cloud enquired, raising a blonde eyebrow questioningly.

"Uuummm for me yea, but not for Genesis that's a definite no."

Cloud laughed softly, his smiling face making him appear more relaxed even though he still looked about ready to collapse.

"So Spiky, what do you fancy for dinner?"

"Pizza would be nice."

"Sounds good to me." The soldier replied, digging his phone out of his pocket.

"You are calling them now?" Sephiroth asked, slightly amused.

"Sure, that way it arrives as we do." Reno responded happily, as Zack began listing off their order which he knew by heart.

"I will never cease to be amazed by you." Sephiroth informed them, smiling happily at the joyful expressions surrounding him.

"Hear that, the general thinks I'm amazing." The Turk exclaimed excitedly, to which Sephiroth and Zack both rolled his eyes and Cloud laughed again.

Thirty minutes later and they were back at the soldier's apartment, where several pizzas boxes were spread out around the living room as the occupants dug into a well earned meal.


	3. Chapter 3

**The healing process – Part 3**

Cloud yawned softly as he stretched out on the sofa, his weary body settling into the soft material, as the content feeling of warm food in his stomach silenced the hunger pains.

"You about ready to call it a night?" Zack asked, looking over at the cadet affectionately.

"Not yet. I ... I want us to ... can we talk about something first?"

"Sure Spiky, we can talk." The soldier replied casually.

"I mean it Zack, I want to talk, not have you guys pretend to listen and then ignore everything I've said." Cloud added firmly, his face hardening as he became serious.

"Ok?" The soldier replied, his voice showing his uncertainty as the cadet's sudden change in mood.

"Ok." Cloud repeated, as if reinforcing the word somehow.

"So what do you wish to discuss?" Sephiroth asked, already having a good idea what the topic would be about.

"Why did you guys do that to me if you weren't going to carry on with it?" Cloud asked bluntly, looking at all of them in turn.

"Do what exactly?" Reno asked carefully.

"You made me remember in ... in such an intimate way ... and then you ... you pulled away. If you weren't going to continue sharing that with me, why did you do it in the first place?"

"We explained that at the time Spiky, we thought it would help your memories return." Zack replied hesitantly.

"Time would have helped my memories to return as well." Cloud pointed out evenly. "You didn't need to ... kick start the process like that. Not if you were going to just leave me like you did."

"We did not plan on leaving you at all." Sephiroth informed the blonde gently. "We wanted to give you some time to adjust, but as you remembered more you seemed to start hiding things from us. We therefore felt it best not to rush anything intimate."

"So it was my fault."

"No, no it wasn't." Zack replied quickly, his heart tearing apart at the sadness in the cadet's voice.

"But ..."

"It's not your fault." Reno cut in sharply. "At least not completely."

"Reno!" Zack cried out angrily.

"Reno is correct, we are all to blame for what has happened here."

"No, no we're not." The soldier retorted almost desperately, his voice cracking under the emotional strain. "It's not Cloud's fault that he wanted to keep some things to himself or that I pulled away. It's also not your fault that you followed my lead and gave him space when he didn't want it. I misunderstood Spiky's nervousness and withdrawal as being something else and I'm the one who told you to give it more time before we started getting physical again. If anyone is to blame it's me and I'm sorry for that."

They all watched in stunned silence as the normally cheerful soldier all but fell apart, his tear stained cheeks disappearing behind a curtain of black spikes as he bowed his head and buried his face in the palms of his hands.

"Zack?" Cloud called hesitantly, after a minute of silence.

"Yea." The soldier replied nervously, pulling himself together enough to look up towards the cadet.

"Please come here." Cloud asked softly, while reaching a hand out toward the raven haired man.

"Ok" Zack agreed faintly, slowly rising from his seat and moving across the space between them.

"Sit." Cloud instructed gently, raising himself up to offer the soldier a place on the sofa beside him.

"Ok. But I don't see what ..."

Zack's words faded away as Cloud's body lowered itself to lie on the sofa once more, but this time with his head resting on the soldier's lap. It was almost instinctive that the soldier raised a hand and began to run his fingers through the mass of blonde hair, hesitating only briefly when their eyes connected and he realised what he had done. Cloud smiled up at Zack's cautious expression and let his pleasure at this simple act of comfort between them be shown in his eyes.

"I'm sorry." Zack repeated softly, as he continued to stroke the soft golden spikes.

"And I'm sorry for getting mad at you, Sephiroth's right, we should have been more honest with each other." Cloud replied gently, his delicate features softer now that the anger had drained away.

"I guess were as bad as each other." The soldier agreed with a faint chuckle.

"How about we start again?" Cloud suggested cautiously. "We could pretend that the past several weeks never happened and let things go back to ... normal?"

"I'm happy to start again, but I'm not going to let things go back to how they were before."

Cloud's body instantly tensed and Zack knew that he needed to explain himself quickly, before the cadet misunderstood the meaning behind his words and tried to leave again.

"I didn't mean like that." The soldier protested, his hand stopping its gentle motions on Clouds head and indirectly pinning him down. "I just mean I don't want us to keep things from each other."

"Man you really are bad with words."Reno noted, rolling his eyes at the soldier's ability to nearly ruin the moment.

"Tell me about it." Zack mumbled, before looking back down at the cadet.

"You want me to talk about ... about my past." Cloud said, his words a mixture of a question and a statement as if he could already guess the answer.

"You do not have to tell us everything, but there are clearly things which upset you." Sephiroth noted gently. "If you talked to us about these things then we would understand why you are sometimes withdrawn and we would not make the mistake of withdrawing ourselves."

"So if I agree to explain what's wrong when something's bothering me, you guys will relax and stop worrying about me all the time?"

"Pretty much." Reno agreed

"Ok, I can live with that." Cloud responded after a minutes thought. "But the same applies to you guys as well, right?"

"Indeed." Sephiroth noted evenly.

"Seems fair enough." Reno said, smiling brightly.

"Yep, that would be the way it would work." Zack reassured gently.

"Good." The cadet breathed, his body relaxing as some of the tension eased away.

Zack smiled down at the blonde resting on his lap and once more began to carefully run his fingers through Cloud's hair, his heart warming as the cadet surrendered himself to the touch by closing his eyes. A moment later and a small sigh of contentment drifted up from the cadet's body as he adjusted himself on the sofa and eased back further against the soldier's lap.

"Comfortable?" Zack asked, as he continued to run his fingers through the mass of blonde spikes.

"Yes."

"Good." The soldier replied smiling happily.

They sat like this for a while, the small group simply relaxing into the quiet and enjoying each other's company in silence. It wasn't long before Cloud's chest rose and fell gentle, the sound of his soft breaths indicating that he was asleep. Zack's hand continued the tender caresses for a little longer, allowing the motions to draw the cadet into a deeper sleep before they moved him. It was only now, as he looked down at Cloud's peaceful face that he realised how long it had been since they had done something as simple and enjoyable as this. So much time had passed without them being able to relax around each other, unable to take comfort in such personal touches. Zack's hand finally stopped and came to rest at the back of the cadet's skull, the palm gently cupping Cloud's head protectively. He knew it was late, and that they were all tired, but the idea of letting go was almost painful.

"We should get him to bed." Sephiroth noted, keeping his voice low.

"Yea, you're right. He just looks so peaceful. I don't want to risk waking him."

"You need some help?" Reno offered, making them all aware that Zack was not going to be able to lift Cloud in his current position.

"Yea, that would be good."

"Allow me." Sephiroth said, already bending down and positioning his arms under the blonde's body.

A moment later and he was standing up straight, his hold on the cadet being firm yet gentle as he carefully carried him towards the spare bedroom. Zack and Reno followed close behind and waited patiently as the general slowly lowered Cloud's sleeping form onto the bed. They worked together to strip him from his uniform, their efforts combining to move him as little as possible while they undid and removed the various items of clothing.

"He really needs a shower." Reno commented, as they began to redress him in more appropriate sleeping attire.

"That is true, but he is hardly in the position to do so now."

"What are you guys talking about?" Cloud murmured, his voice heavy with sleep as he continued to lie upon the bed with his eyes closed.

"You awake Spiky?"

"No."

"Funny."

"I try." Cloud sighed, his eyes now fluttering open to look up at them.

"Hey, don't you dare wake up." Zack warned playfully. "You need to sleep."

"I also need to shower." The cadet replied smiling softly at Reno.

"You're not that bad, it can wait till tomorrow." The Turk responded, chuckling slightly in amusement.

"And you guys say you have enhanced sense," Cloud said rolling his eyes. "Even I can tell I need a shower."

"Ok, but make it a quick one, you need to rest."

"It will be neither quick nor will it be alone." The cadet stated evenly, his eyes daring the soldier to argue.

"There is no need to ..." Sephiroth began gently.

"No." Cloud cut in firmly, now fully awake and pushing himself into a sitting position. "The last time I went to have a shower you guys ended up fighting. There is no way in hell I am going in there and leaving you all out here for that to happen again."

"We aren't going to fight Spiky, its ok now."

"I still want you there."

"You don't have to worry, we're not gonna ..."

"It's not just that." Cloud interrupted quickly, his voice faltering as his throat became dry.

"Then what else is it?" Sephiroth asked carefully.

"What if ... if I just want your company?" Cloud asked nervously, looking away from them, clearly afraid of being rejected again.

"Then that is an entirely different matter." Sephiroth said gently, attempting to reassure the cadet that things were different now.

"Sounds good to me." Reno agreed almost instantly.

"Zack?" Cloud asked hesitantly, after the soldier remained silent.

"Ok, but can we ... can we go slow ... for me?"

The words had been spoken with such caution and worry, that when Cloud looked at Zack he was not surprised to see the soldier's head bowed down and looking away from them. He raised a hand to touch the sun kissed skin, hidden behind drooping black spikes, and gently encouraged violet eyes to come up and meet his own.

"We can go slowly for all of us." The cadet reassured softly.

Reno left the room first, taking the initiative to go and fetch some towels before heading to the bathroom and adjusting the water temperature. He had barely got the shower running when Sephiroth entered the room, once more carrying Cloud safely in his arms, and Zack following close behind.

"It's ready." He informed them, moving out of the way as Sephiroth lowered the cadet to stand on his own feet.

There was a minute of hesitation amongst the group of men as they tried to decide what should happen next. Cloud made the first move, his smaller hands trembling as they rose to work on the buckles of Sephiroth's coat and belts. The silver haired general looked down at the cadet in his arms and smiled as he watched nimble fingers work hesitantly on his uniform. It was clear from the blonde's small frown and the way he bit down slightly on his bottom lips that he was having trouble with the clasps due to his nervous state.

"Allow me." Sephiroth offered gently, as he moved his hands over Cloud's and helped the cadet to undo the fastenings.

"Thank you." Cloud breathed, a faint blush creeping over his cheeks.

They spent the next few minutes undressing each other, slowly removing items of clothing and gently caressing the exposed skin as it became visible. Calloused hands worked gently over developing muscles as each man traced the contours of Cloud's body giving him the touches he had yearned for. In turn the cadet let himself drown in their scent, in the feel of their bodies against his own, and the desire which filled them all. When they finally made it to the shower Cloud closed his eyes and sighed in pleasure as the warm water travelled across the planes of his body, washing away the dirt sweat and tears from his day.

"You ok?" Zack asked softly, as Cloud settled his head against the general's chest.

The cadet remained silent and nodded that he was, his mind still drifting happily and unwilling to return to deal with something as unimportant as speech.

"How about I wash that hair of yours?"

Again Cloud merely nodded, the smile of his face growing a little brighter at the soldier's offer.

In the end they all washed each other's hair, hands moving carefully so that the contact was slow and gentle, immersing themselves in the sensuous touches being given and received. There was still a current of desire forming around them, their enjoyment of the activity becoming slowly obvious, but they chose to ignore it. Instead they took the time to reacquaint themselves with each other's bodies again, to re-establish the bonds between them which had been frayed.

It was only after they had rinsed their hair, and begun to work a scented shower gel over each other's wet skin that the atmosphere became more heated. The sensation of strong hands gliding over slick flesh was quickly making the touches between them more, the love and care growing and changing to become passion and lust. A small rush of pleasure flowed through Cloud's body making him shiver as the general's hands travelled along his spine once more. The strength contained within the fingers so evident as they pressed against his smaller torso, working across the expanse of his back. Sephiroth could not miss how the cadet reacted to his touch, the blonde still leaning against his taller frame within the confines of the shower. The sensation made his own body respond, his arousal making itself known with more silent demands. Zack allowed his eyes to slip shut as Cloud's hand moved over his shoulder, following the muscles down along the arm until it came to rest at his wrist. It was only when the cadet's fingers entwined with his own that the soldier opened his eyes again, the sight of their hands holding making his heart flutter. Reno had been standing behind Sephiroth while they washed the general's exceptionally long hair and now moved round to stand beside the cadet. He ran a hand along Cloud's back, his fingers following the same path that Sephiroth was making over the blonde's pale skin. Their combined touch had a notable effect on the cadet.

"Cloud?" Reno asked, as he noticed the blonde's breathe hitch.

"I'm ok." Cloud breathed, his voice trembling slightly.

"We can stop if it's too much."

"Please don't." The cadet begged softly, his eyes levelling with Reno's to reinforce the plea.

Reno smiled reassuringly as he brought a hand up to gently brush some strands of hair away from the cadet's eyes, and sighed happily as Cloud lent into the touch.

"I've missed this." The Turk admitted faintly, his words a breathless whisper.

"Me too." Cloud replied, his voice also soft in its response.

"It is late and you should rest." Sephiroth began, tilting his head so he could meet Cloud's eyes better. "But tonight is about you, so we will do as you wish."

"I want us to ... be intimate." The cadet replied hesitantly.

"As you wish, but I do not believe this is the best place." The general noted, looking around them questioningly.

Cloud slowly followed Sephiroth's gaze, letting his brain process the world around them. It was only now that he saw how cramped the shower really was, their bodies having surrounded his and making the proximity of the walls seem further away. The cadet soon realised what was causing the problem, it was the fact that the shower in Zack's apartment was not as large as the one in Sephiroth's. For one person it was not a problem and relatively spacious and for two it was comfortable. With three people it would be considered very cosy, but with four it was almost impossible. Even now he found himself wondering how they had managed to remain standing for so long without one of them getting pushed out.

"Maybe we should dry off and take this to the bedroom?" Zack suggested, his thoughts matching Cloud's exactly.

Reno was the closest to the towels so carefully extracted himself from the shower and grabbed the first one, quickly wrapping it around himself before handing one to Zack who had joined him. Cloud was next, his body being instantly cocooned in the fluffy material as the general moved them away from the water. Before he could say anything the cadet found himself being lifted again and carried from the room, Zack's arms holding him protectively as they moved through the apartment and into the bedroom.

"You know, I can walk." Cloud reminded them, as he was laid on the bed.

"Maybe I want you to save your strength?" Zack teased suggestively, moving himself to sit on the edge of the bed.

"Should we give you guys some space?" Reno asked, his heart sinking a little at the thought of having to leave.

"No. I want you to be here, all of you." Cloud replied quickly, his body rising to sit up and a hand extending out towards the Turk.

"Do you ... want to do this with Reno?" Zack asked, trying to keep the hurt from his voice.

"I want it to do it with all of you." Cloud answered, turning to face the soldier now that he had managed to pull Reno down to sit on the bed beside him. "All of us together."

"What did you have in mind?" Sephiroth asked as he finally joined the small group on the bed.

"I was thinking about that time in the forest." Cloud admitted, as a blush crept over his exposed skin giving it a delightful pink hue.

"You mean the time when there was the three of us?" Reno asked thoughtfully.

"Yea, you guys said it might be fun to try it with four of us so ..."

"That was a pretty tough position Spiky."

"I know, but this time we have the bed and if we do it right then it could work."

"You have a plan?" The general asked, slightly amused.

"I might have thought about it a couple of times." The cadet agreed, as the blush on his cheeks deepened.

"So what's the idea?" Reno asked, barely containing the grin which had developed on his face.

"I'm ... inside you, while Zack's inside me. That way we can balance the weight out better."

"What about Seph?"

"Sephiroth can be inside Zack, that way he can support our weight and I can still feel him if he reaches round."

"You really have been thinking about this." Reno noted, slightly impressed at the logic behind it.

"I had some time."

"I'm sorry I didn't ... that I didn't ..." Zack stammered, his words faltering unable to finish the apology.

"It's ok. I know I gave you reasons to be worried, but I want this Zack."

The soldier didn't answer with words, there were none which would really explain how he felt anyway. Instead he raised a hand up to trace his fingers lightly along the side of Cloud's face, until his palm came to rest against the cadet's flushed cheek. He lent forward then, his eyes closing a second after Cloud's fluttered shut, and placed their lips together in a soft tender kiss. The sensation was somehow stronger than it had ever been and the soldier felt himself responding to the delicate soft flesh against his lips, the feel of Cloud's mouth against his own causing heat to pool in his groin. He didn't ask to take the kiss further, still hesitant to rush this experience for them all, but was left breathless when lips parted for him. He took the silent invitation willingly, letting his tongue enter the cadet's mouth and play against the blonde's within the heat of their mouths. He smiled into the kiss as a small moan escaped Cloud's body and passed into his own, realising just how much he had missed that sound.

Cloud was glad he was still wrapped in the towel, the soft material covering his body as it reacted to Zack's kiss. There was no denying the heat which spread over his limbs, the need which flowed though his veins, or the swelling developing between his legs. The cadet let his pleasure of the kiss have a voice, allowing a soft moan to leave his body so that they would hear his joy. The sound was rewarded by a deeper press against his lips, the kiss became more passionate and demanding, as Zack finally let go of his fears and surrendered to their shared desire.

When they broke away from the kiss both soldier and cadet were panting breathlessly, their hearts racing wildly as they held each other close.

"You haven't kissed me like that in so long." Cloud whispered against Zack's chest, regretting it almost instantly when the soldier tensed.

"I made a mistake by pulling away. It won't happen again." Zack replied evenly, his hold on the cadet tightening to reassure them both.

"I believe Reno and I are also in need of such expressions of affection." Sephiroth noted, moving forward towards the pair.

"Huh?"

"I think Sephiroth and Reno want kisses too." Cloud explained, laughing softly at the confused soldier.

"Oh." Zack replied.

The cadet didn't have time to respond as the general captured his lips, sealing their mouths together and trapping the words inside. Cloud relaxed into the kiss, happily allowing the general to dominate the interaction between them. He once again made his feelings known by allowing sounds of pleasure to pass between them and just as before the kiss was deepened as it became more forceful and demanding. When the need for air dragged them apart Cloud sat gasping for breath while raising his fingers to touch his lips softly, the tender flesh now feeling a little bruised and swollen.

"You ok?" Reno asked, bringing his own fingers up to touch the cadet's darker and fuller lips.

"Yea, I'm ok."

Reno knew better than to argue the response and decided that he would just be gentle instead of not kissing Cloud at all. He allowed his lips to play against the cadet's, barely touching as the sensitive flesh brushed together, and was surprised to find the tease to be quite satisfying. Instead of a moan from the blonde he received a small whimper of need and couldn't help but smile as he allowed a brief moment of passionate lip locking to pass between them. When he moved away from Cloud's mouth it was not to breathe heavily as the others had done, but to begin a trail of feather light kisses along the blonde's jaw and down following the slope of his neck. The Turk carefully ran his hand up the side of Cloud's neck and laced his fingers through the damp hair, gently gripping the golden locks and pulling back to expose more of the pale throat. He was rewarded not only by the opportunity of more contact with the smooth flesh, but a heated moan of pleasure which vibrated against his lips as it moved up Cloud's body and spilled from his mouth.

Zack and Sephiroth watched the scene in stunned silence, the cadet's reaction to Reno's gentle yet forceful advances being a little unexpected. They both knew that Cloud took pleasure from their demanding kisses. That the cadet willingly gave himself over to their commanding touches and caresses, surrendering himself to their dominant positions over him. Even when he had been the one to initiate the acts of intimacy between them, or on the rare occasions when he had topped, Cloud had always allowed himself to be guided or had quickly relinquished his role soon after. But neither could remember a time when the blonde had openly voiced his pleasure to being handled in such a controlling way, the Turk's actions having given him no choice but to comply with the unspoken demand. They exchanged a look of understanding which clearly said this was something they would explore more another time.

Because they had both been so distracted neither noticed how Reno had begun to lower Cloud onto the bed, his hand gently pulling the cadet backwards while also supporting his head as it began to fall. A small cry of pleasure brought their minds snapping back to the moment, their heads turning to look at the blonde as he reacted to one of Reno's more forceful nips to his tender flesh. The feel of Cloud's body falling away and only half supported by his arms made Zack's heart skip a beat and his grip immediately tightened, pulling the cadet up against him once more. The blonde squeaked in surprise as his torso was suddenly pulled back up, the hand in his hair releasing its hold quickly to avoid hurting him.

"Zack?" Reno asked after a few seconds, noting that the wide eyed soldier was gasping slightly.

"Sorry, I thought that you were ... and I ..." The soldier stopped his explanation and smiled in embarrassment, a slight blush creeping over his face.

"You always catch me when I fall." Cloud agreed gently, quickly understanding what had happened.

"That ok with you?" Zack asked cautiously.

"I wouldn't have it any other way." The cadet replied, smiling as he lent in for another kiss.

This time Zack had control of Cloud's body as they lowered themselves onto the bed, one arm holding the blonde protectively while the other supported their combined weight. Although he tried to balance himself above Cloud the towels covering their bodies made it a little awkward, so instead he let himself settle on the mattress beside the blonde. A second later and Reno was lying on Cloud's other side, their bodies pressed firmly against the cadet's, effectively trapping him between them.

Cloud's breath hitched as he felt the unmistakable arousal of both men pressed up against him, the soldier and Turks erections hidden from sight but not touch. The cadet didn't give them time to question him again, not wanting more words to interrupt what had begun. Cloud quickly twisted his body so that it faced Zack's, capturing the raven haired man's lips in a kiss before he could speak. He felt the soldier's tongue tentatively push against the seam of his mouth and parted his lips willingly, a moan escaping his body as the warm muscle delved into his mouth once more.

Reno took the opportunity to being exploring the cadet's body again, his hands travelling lightly over exposed skin until they met the hindering material of the towel. Growling softly in frustration he moved his hand to Clouds knee and began to slide it up the cadet's leg, his fingers dancing gracefully along the soft skin as they rose higher along the blonde's thigh.

Cloud broke away from the kiss gasping as the Turks hand drifted over the heated flesh of his inner thigh, the confident fingers moving up under the towel and dangerously close to some very private parts of his anatomy. The cadet shifted his position slightly so that he could now face Reno and smiled at the red head before moving forward to share another kiss with him. Sephiroth took the opportunity to begin his own gentle touches of the newly exposed flesh, making the blonde shudder and sigh in pleasure as he lay pinned between the soldier and Turks bodies. Cloud's lips had barely left Reno's in a deep gasping breath, when the general captured them with his own and stole the kiss he had been patiently waiting for.

As the kisses became more heated, and bodies became more flushed with desire, the towels were lost to the floor as their protective covering was no longer needed or wanted. Hands moved confidently over smooth skin, each touch and caress being greeted with sounds of pleasure from the man receiving it. Soon the air was thick with lust and toned flesh had become damp with sweat, as bodies trembled with excitement. Their desire to touch and be touched being fulfilled, their need to rediscover each other being satisfied. At some point one of them had found the lubricant and now skilled fingers worked on highly aroused bodies, preparing them as carefully as possible.

Zack could feel Sephiroth's fingers as they moved against his opening, the digits pushing deep within the tight warmth of his body and causing the swollen flesh between his legs to throb with need. The soldier took another deep breath to steady himself before adding a third finger to the ones already working on the cadet lying in front of him. He bit down on his bottom lip as Cloud moaned in pleasure, the blonde's body shuddering at the sensation and pushing down against his hand. The sound was quickly followed by another as Reno reacted to something Cloud had done, as a result of the soldier's advances, and Zack felt the cadet respond to what every the Turk had done while crying out. He knew they were becoming connected now, their bodies joining like a living circuit, as each action created another reaction and so on.

"I believe that you are all prepared enough." Sephiroth said, also noting that the men in front of him were slowly losing control.

"How ... how we gonna do this?" Zack panted as he withdrew his fingers from Cloud's body, only to be met with a small whimper from the cadet.

"Cloud?" Sephiroth asked, deciding that as it was the blonde's idea he might have a better suggestion.

"Me in Reno ... Zack in me ... you in Zack." The cadet panted, leaning back slightly to look over his shoulder at the general.

"Sounds good to me." Reno breathed, his heart now racing wildly in his chest.

"Ok Spiky, you go first."

Cloud turned back to face the Turk, his head coming back round to look at a mass of fiery red hair. Taking a steadying breath the cadet moved his hand to rest on Reno's hip, gently tilting the Turk forward a little to make his entrance more accessible. They both moaned in pleasure as Cloud's other hand moved his erection, the hard length now pressing gently against the opening.

"You ready?" Cloud whispered against Reno's back.

"Yes." He breathed in reply.

The next second and Cloud pushed into the tight heat of Reno's body, his swollen flesh gently forcing its way along the rippling wall of muscle. The cadet slowly worked his way past the initial ring of muscle, using his hand on the Turks hip to not only steady them but to keep Reno from pushing back. The sensation of being surrounded by such a hot warm grip was leaving the blonde breathless and trembling in anticipation of what was to come. He could feel Reno's body responding to the intrusion, the gentle pull on his erection as it was drawn deeper into the Turks body. It was only when he was sheathed to the hilt that Cloud stopped, his hard length buried as far as he would go, and allowed their bodies to adjust to the feel of each other.

Zack waited for a minute before moving forward, wanting them to be comfortable before he moved Cloud's hips to make it easier for him to enter. He carefully positioned his hands to lift one of the cadet's legs slightly, the action making Cloud's stretched and prepared body more exposed. He slowly pressed his own arousal against the opening and felt the cadet react to the touch, the blonde pushing back against his firm flesh as it teased the entrance. He smiled as the movement caused both Reno and Cloud to moan in pleasure, his actions on the cadet once again affecting the Turk in front of them both.

"Zack." Cloud whispered, his voice a strained plea.

"Ok." The soldier reassured gently.

Zack felt the tight warmth surrounding him as he filled Cloud's lithe body with his hard length, slowly pushing up into the tight clenching muscles as they began to accept his intrusion. The sensation of being buried deep within the blonde's body once more was overwhelming and the soldier scolded himself for allowing these acts of love between them to have suffered. He quickly pushed the thoughts away as a wave of pleasure washed over him and caused him to thrust up into Cloud's body, in turn pushing the cadet forward and deeper into Reno.

"Zack" Cloud gasped, his grip on the Turks hip tightening as he tried to steady himself.

"Sorry" Zack panted, adjusting his hold on the blonde so that he could support them both better.

"Ready?" Sephiroth asked, already moving the soldier's body into a better position.

"I think so." Zack gasped, his control now paper thin.

Sephiroth held the soldier firmly in place as he entered, his highly aroused body forcing its way into Zack's and drawing a moan of pleasure from the raven haired mans lips. The sound was echoed by Cloud and soon after by Reno, the rocking motion of his entry passing along the chain they had become. The rippling effect of bodies responding began to move back and forwards though the circuit, with Cloud and Zack caught helplessly in the middle. Each time Sephiroth thrust gently into the soldier's body it would push him deeper into the cadet, who would in turn move within Reno's. The Turk would instinctively move back against Cloud, forcing more of the cadet's throbbing flesh into him, the motion forcing the blonde to do the same with Zack and then back to the general.

The slow ripples between them quickly began to grow, the gentle thrusts becoming more forceful as the need for release grew stronger. Moans of pleasure filled the air as they rode the waves of desire coursing through them, the sounds escaping parted lips as each man gasped for breath. They were no longer individuals sharing a moment of passion, but a single living breathing entity which pulsated with need.

There was no way to work out who's control broke first, the initial release ripping orgasm from them all at the same time. They cried out their pleasure with a single voice, their bodies convulsing together and moving as one, the intensity of the climax leaving them all breathless and shaking. They collapsed exhausted against the bed, their bodies twitching and throbbing uncontrollably against and within one another, their sweat soaked flesh glistening in the faint light as they continued to hold each other tightly

"Sweet Gaia." Reno gasped at last, his breath finally calm enough to allow him to speak.

"No kidding." Zack agreed, panting slightly as he began to recover.

"It was indeed quite pleasurable." Sephiroth added happily.

"It was perfect." Cloud sighed, his body still glowing from the combined sensations.

"Not that I want to ruin the moment, but I'm starting to get a cramp." Zack informed the group, his body no longer distracted by the activities and letting him know that the position was not a completely comfortable one.

Reluctantly Sephiroth withdrew and Zack moaned in part pleasure at the sensation, but also part pain as his hip shifted and protested the sudden movement. It was clear that Cloud was experiencing something similar when the soldier moved back separating their bodies, the small groan escaping his lips being silenced before it had a chance to be heard properly.

"You ok?" Zack asked, settling himself on the mattress and running a hand down the cadet's back reassuringly.

"Yea, I just ... it feels like I held a stretch for too long."

"I get that," the soldier acknowledge with a touch of sympathy. "How about next time we go on the outside and making them bounce like ping pong balls in that position for a bit." He suggested jokingly.

Cloud chuckled as he carefully pulled out of Reno, the sound turning into a joyful laugh as the Turk made a rude comment towards the soldier and Sephiroth pointed out that it was very unlikely he would be in the middle of anything.

Zack laughed as well and drew Cloud in closer against him, pulling the cadet back and pressing their bodies together as he wrapped a protective arm around the blonde. Reno settled himself so that he was now facing Cloud and gently began to run his fingers threw the damp spikes, the comforting action making the cadet's eyes flutter closed. Zack smiled as he began to gently rub Cloud's back, the soothing motions adding to the red heads and drawing the cadet into an even deeper feeling of peace. A moment later and Sephiroth's hand was also moving over his body, the touch being both soft and comforting as it moved over his cooling skin. Their combined acts of comfort had Cloud asleep in minutes, his tired body finally giving into the exhaustion and drifting away in a peaceful slumber.

"He looks so peaceful." Reno informed the others, knowing he was the only one who could now see the cadet's face clearly.

"Perhaps he will sleep better tonight." Sephiroth suggested softly.

"I can't believe I didn't let this happen sooner." Zack whispered, his grip on Cloud tightening slightly as if the cadet might disappear again.

"We all make mistakes." Reno replied tenderly, letting a hand rest over the soldiers to give a reassuring touch.

"But if I had just let things happen sooner he wouldn't have got so upset."

"Perhaps." Sephiroth agreed carefully. "But we would not have found out about his past or what things trouble his sleep."

"I can't believe he joined the army for a girl." Reno said, his voice soft but the tone clearly revealing his surprise at the fact.

"I can, many men have done it before."

"Do you think he ... that he ..." Zack began uncertainly.

"No, I do not believe he loves her." The general answered the question firmly. "He has admitted that he felt something for her once but not anymore and I believe him."

"Beside's the girl sounds like trouble if you ask me." Reno added scowling at the idea that Cloud had suffered so much because of her.

"And you would know all about that." Sephiroth teased gently.

"Hey." The Turk hissed in mock annoyance, remembering to keep his protest to a harsh whisper.

The general smiled in pleasure at the red heads reaction and was even more delighted by the soft chuckle he had gotten out of the soldier. It was fair to say that Cloud was not the only person who had been suffering sleepless nights and mood swings as a result of the past few weeks' emotional turmoil. He had actually begun to worry about Zack's health and ability to perform properly at work, the young soldier starting to allow his personal life to distract him from his duties and responsibilities.

"Perhaps we should leave this discussion for another time and get some sleep." Sephiroth suggested soothingly, his voice a warm caress through the other men's minds.

"Sounds good to me." Reno agreed happily, snuggling down amongst the sheets which they had finally managed to work up over themselves.

"Yea, sure." Zack murmured softly, as his body finally gave into the weariness it felt and his eye lids began to flutter shut.

Soon all four men were asleep and the only sounds to fill the room were those of gentle breaths, as chests rose and fell in synchronised rhythms, and hearts which beat as one in the night.


End file.
